Jacqueline Whitmore's Blog

Jacqueline's Blog Moves!

2009-11-18T11:39:00.002-05:00

Thank you for your interest in my blog. I have a new blog now. Please go to http://blog.etiquetteexpert.com.

An Interview with Jacqueline Whitmore

2009-07-23T13:33:00.004-04:00

Interviewed by blogger and jet setter, Ava Pierce at www.avapierce.com

What inspired you to start The Protocol School of Palm Beach?

For almost six years, I was the assistant director of public relations for The Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach, Florida. While there, I was responsible for promoting the hotel’s special events…one being the Annual Etiquette Camp for Children and Adults. In 1994, I decided to participate in the Etiquette Camp for Adults and I absolutely loved it! The instructor recommended that I take her “train-the-trainer” course in Washington, D.C. so I could receive a certification and eventually teach etiquette to others and eventually start my own etiquette business if I ever wanted to. In 1995, I followed her advice and attended her school and started teaching classes to the hotel staff in my spare time. As fate would have it, my job was eliminated in August 1998 and I immediately started my business. I took my severance pay and purchased a computer, printer and fax machine and my husband and I converted our tiny attic into an office.

In your experience, what is the most common etiquette mistake made in social situations?

It’s amazing how many people talk and text on their cell phones while still trying to have a conversation with another person.

How did we end up on Planet Rude and when is the mothership coming back for us?

I am an optimist so I believe that people are inherently good…they just don’t get any credit for it. The media also places more emphasis on wrongdoings. That’s why it seems that our society is becoming ruder by the day. I also think that some people simply don’t know any better and don’t realize that they are being rude. After all, not everyone reads etiquette books or grows up learning proper manners. In my opinion, there are many factors responsible for the decline in civility and manners.

First, we have lost a sense of “community” that was once experienced by our parents and grandparents. We don’t talk to our neighbors anymore. We don’t work for the same company as long as our parents or grandparents did. We tend to relocate more frequently. We don’t sit down as a family at the dinner table anymore. Fast food has become the norm. We have isolated ourselves, using technology as a barrier or a safety net. People will often say things on the Internet that they would never say to someone’s face.

People are overworked, overstressed, sleep deprived and always in a hurry. This causes people to lash out. Long gone are the days where you can pick up the phone to call customer service and get a live voice. Where is the service in that? I could go on and on.

What’s the most fun part of your work?

I love having my own business for many reasons but the main reason is it affords me the flexibility to work at home and work as many hours that I want to work. As a result, I can spend more time with my family and friends.

I love every aspect of my business – writing, speaking, researching, product development, sales and yes, even accounting. I am an actor at heart and love being on stage. I love making an impact on other people’s lives. My work doesn’t feel like work to me. I look forward to each new day. I am truly living my passion!

You’ve met countless celebrities and dignitaries. For jet-setters-in-training who are gradually moving into more exclusive circles, what is appropriate behavior when meeting celebrities and dignitaries (assuming that we can remain conscious and don’t lose our sense of speech)?

Before I became an etiquette expert, I always thought celebrities and dignitaries were bigger than life, untouchable and were not like you and me. Quite the contrary. Celebrities and dignitaries are just ordinary people leading extraordinary lives. They are just like you and me. They just have bigger houses, drive bigger cars, have a bigger bank accounts and have bigger problems. They work all the time and most have reached the pinnacle of their success as a result of working extremely hard and making sacrifices that the ordinary person wouldn’t make. Their “real” friends are few and far between.

I find it’s easier to approach a famous person if you ask someone of importance to introduce you. That person is called a “connector.” You will be viewed as more important if someone the celebrity knows or trusts introduces you. When I was researching famous people to endorse my book, “Business Class,” I did not approach them directly. I found someone who knew them personally and asked that person to make the introduction for me. It was much easier getting an endorsement by using that approach. And once I got one famous person to endorse my book, I used their name to get the second, third and forth endorsement.

What is the best way to handle rude or snobbish people without unleashing one’s inner bitch?

First, you don’t want to give that rude or snobbish person more power by fighting fire with fire. My mother always said, “Killem’ with kindness.” This is easier said than done for most of us. For example if I am at a check-out line in the grocery store and the cashier doesn’t say hello or look me in the eye, I will oftentimes look at her nametag, greet her by name and ask her about her day. This simple technique will usually break the ice. Keep in mind that you may be the only person who was nice to that cashier all day because you took the time and made the effort.

I’m absolutely terrible with small talk. Do you have a suggestion for making great conversation with new people?

Just last night I attended a birthday party for my friend, Donny. After getting a drink, I sat down at a table with a group of strangers. As soon as I sat down, I smiled and said hello and introduced myself to every person at the table. In turn, each person smiled and introduced themselves. Before I could utter another word the woman next to me asked, “How do you know Donny?” This was an instant ice breaker! Everyone in the room had one thing in common…we were all there to celebrate our friend’s birthday. In short, it’s very easy to start a conversation when you have something in common with another person. If you don’t know what you have in common, you’ve got to ask the right questions and find a commonality. That means you ask a few good opening questions and then shut up. In other words, when you’re listening, you’re learning about someone else. When you’re talking, you’re not learning a thing.

If someone is invited to a major event, such as a ball or high-profile awards ceremony, but they’re on a limited budget, what would you suggest as appropriate attire to make a good impression?

I love to shop at consignment stores because I can always find a great outfit at an affordable price. Or if you have a friend with great taste who is your same size, ask to borrow an outfit from them as long as you pay for the dry cleaning bill. If neither one of these suggestions work for you, go out and buy a basic black suit. No need to spend a lot of money. Pair it with a colorful silk blouse and add fun, funky or elegant accessories. Get over the fact that everyone is going to scrutinize your outfit (unless you’re going to be presenting or receiving an award). Most people won’t remember what you wear but they WILL remember the wonderful conversation they had with you!

What’s your favorite travel destination and why?

This is a tough question because I can always find something wonderful to do wherever I travel. I meet more people when I travel by myself. It forces me to ask questions and make friends with strangers. Aside from that, I have to say that one of my most memorable trips was when my husband and I went to Greece on our honeymoon in 1998. Santorini is one of the most beautiful and romantic places on earth! I love the food and the culture. I especially like the fact that no one seems to be in a hurry.

July is National Cellphone Courtesy Month. What should everyone do to be more considerate of others?

I founded National Cellphone Courtesy Month in 2002 in an effort to help teach people how to be more courteous while talking on their cellphones.

Hassle-Free Summer Travel

2009-07-20T23:28:00.001-04:00

by Karen Leland, Guest Blogger

If you feel like you’re still recovering from last year’s summer travel season - made memorable by incredibly long lines at the airport, long delays when traveling to visit relatives and poor service at restaurants - you’re not alone. The summer travel season can be one of the most stressful times of the year.

To cool down the heat of summer travel try these traveler’s smart strategies:

Make restaurant reservations three weeks in advance of any summer holidays. Don’t leave booking that special restaurant till the last minute. Be sure to avoid problems by confirming all restaurant reservations at least one day before. If you have special food requirements let the restaurant know this when you call to make the reservation. Lastly, plan on arriving early for your reservation, this will allow for delays caused by holiday traffic.

If your flight is significantly delayed or canceled, don’t stand in line. Instead, use your cellular phone to call the airline directly. They’ll make travel arrangements for you by phone much faster than a harried gate agent with 200 other people in line with the same problem to solve.

Get the service provider on your side. Make direct eye contact with the person helping you as soon as possible, greet them with a pleasant “good morning” or and use the word “please” within the first 30 seconds. Use “I” Statements and avoid “you” statements so the service provider doesn’t get put on the defensive. For instance, “I’m frustrated that I can’t get help” works better than “ You are not being helpful.”

Ship gifts ahead of time. If you’re visiting family this summer, why stress out yourself and anger other passengers by trying to stuff your gifts in an overhead compartment on a busy full flight? Instead save yourself the trouble by mailing all packages to your final destination at least one week prior to arrival. If you have to take last minute gifts with you, wrap them carefully and check them at curbside.

Use the knowledge of the service person to help you solve your problem. If you need help in solving a problem ask the service person “What would you recommend I do?” and then stay silent. By giving them a minute to think about it, they will often come up with a workable solution.

Always write down the name of whomever helps you . This way, if there’s a problem later on, you’ll be able to resolve it quicker when you can give the name of the specific person who provided you with the information or a promise.

Buy a copy of Time Management In An Instant the week of July 20th and receive a free license to view the Essential Email online course. To buy the book and claim your bonus, or just to buy the book go to: http://www.quality-service.com/timemanagementinaninstant

Karen Leland and Keith Bailey are the bestselling authors of six books including Time Management In An Instant: 60 Ways to Make the Most of Your Day. They are the co-founders of Sterling Consulting Group, which helps organizations and individuals learn how to fight distraction and find their focus in a wired world. For more information please contact: kleland@scgtraining.com

Screw Cap Conundrum

2009-07-06T10:21:00.007-04:00

If you're a wine lover like me, you've probably noticed that a lot of wines have screw caps instead of corks, especially those from Australia and New Zealand. But what happens if you're having dinner in a nice restaurant and the server unscrews the cap and sets it down on the table? What is the proper protocol for the presentation of a screw-top wine?

In the June 30, 2009 issue of Wine Spectator, editor-at-large Harvey Steiman had these suggestions. Steiman recommends that, even though a screw cap reduces a wine's risk of suffering TCA contamination, it is important that the sommelier or waiter present the bottle itself as he or she would a cork-sealed wine before opening it, so that the customer can verify that it is indeed the label and vintage ordered, and that they give the customer a taste before filling the glasses, to make sure the bottle has not spoiled as a result of excess heat or light or as the result of a (very rare) misapplied cap or dent in the screw top, which could have allowed air in.

July is National Cell Phone Courtesy Month

2009-07-01T12:17:00.003-04:00

Reprinted with permission by Karen Leland, The Huffington Post

Recently, my husband Jon and I decided to take advantage of some miles we had and treat ourselves to a resort hotel on the Big Island of Hawaii. We were weary from work and the relentless stimulation of technology that accompanied it. Our plan was to spend a whole lot of time by the pool -- and very little talking on a cell phone, e-mailing or watching television.

By the second day, I could already feel myself getting into the rhythm of the islands as I sat ocean-side in the Jacuzzi, my head resting on a foam pillow, my hand holding a piña colada -- paradise found.

Like a scene out of a totally clichéd Hollywood movie, my eyes were closed and the sound of crashing waves washed over me. Then, a cell phone rang. The man next to me picked it up and began screaming at his stockbroker -- paradise lost.

My, how the times have changed. Remember the good old days when there was just a smoking or non-smoking section? Apparently, under the current umbrella of social correctness, you can't smoke at either pool (which I personally appreciate), but you can annoy your fellow vacationers -- at least one of them.

According to the ABC Web site, one ABC News "20/20" survey found that 87 percent of Americans said they have encountered people talking on cell phones in public places in a loud or annoying manner. Slightly less than 4 out of 10 often experience generally rude or disrespectful behavior, cursing, near-cursing or people interrupting conversations to use e-mail or cell phone.

Jacqueline Whitmore, author of "Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work" and President of The Protocol School of Palm Beach, Inc., has made a career of helping organizations and individuals master the finer points of business etiquette.

In 2002, she officially founded National Cell Phone Courtesy Month with the intent of making cell phone users more respectful of their surroundings.

"Wireless phones and other electronic devices have become so important to keeping people in touch with information they want and need," says Whitmore. "It's important to educate people about the proper way to use these devices so that they're still in touch, but not annoying those around them." According to Whitmore, wireless phone users can take these steps to avoid offending others:

1. Be all there. When you're in a meeting, performance, courtroom or other busy area, let calls go to voicemail to avoid a disruption. In some instances, turning your phone off may be the best solution.

2. Keep it private. Be aware of your surroundings and avoid discussing private or confidential information in public. You never know who may be in hearing range.

3. Keep your cool. Don't display anger during a public call. Conversations that are likely to be emotional should be held where they will not embarrass or intrude on others.

4. Learn to vibe. Use your wireless phone's silent or vibration settings in public places such as business meetings, religious services, schools, restaurants, theaters or sporting events so that you do not disrupt your surroundings.

5. Avoid "cell yell." Remember to use your regular conversational tone when speaking on your wireless phone. People tend to speak more loudly than normal and often don't recognize how distracting they can be to others.

6. Follow the rules. Some places, such as hospitals or airplanes, restrict or prohibit the use of mobile phones, so adhere to posted signs and instructions. Some jurisdictions may also restrict mobile phone use in public places.

7. Excuse yourself. If you are expecting a call that can't be postponed, alert your companions ahead of time and excuse yourself when the call comes in; the people you are with should take precedence over calls you want to make or receive.

8. Send a message. Use Text Messaging to send and receive messages without saying a single word.

9. Watch and listen discreetly. New multimedia applications such as streaming video and music are great ways to stay informed and access the latest entertainment. However, adjust the volume based on your surroundings in much the same way that you would adjust your ringer volume. Earphones are a great way to avoid distracting others in public areas.

10. Alert silently. When using your phone's walkie-talkie feature, send the person you're trying to reach a Call Alert before starting to speak. If you're around other people, turn off your phone's external speaker and use the vibration setting to minimize any disturbance and to respect your contact's privacy.

Karen Leland is author of the recently released books Watercooler Wisdom: How Smart People Prosper In the Face of Conflict, Pressure and Change and Time Management In An Instant:60 Ways to Make the Most of Your Day. She is the co-creator of a new line of Productivity Pads from Time Tamer™ and the co-founder of Sterling Consulting Group and its subsidiary Sterling Marketing Group. You can follow her on twitter at kfleland. For questions, comments or to book Karen to speak at your next event, please e-mail kleland@scgtraining.com.

President Interrupted by "Duck" Ringtone During Speech

2009-06-30T09:46:00.003-04:00

We’ve all been sitting in a movie, waiting in a line, or sleeping in school, only to be annoyed by a dumb ringtone. For some reason, random people across all generations think that everyone else wants to hear a Boom Boom Pow or animal sound ringer. Well, we don’t. Cellphone etiquette is necessary now more than ever and I hope to spread the word during National Cellphone Courtesy Month in July. Won't you please help me with this critical crusade?

Watch the video above and then remember to switch your ringer to a normal tone, or better yet, silent mode. Listen, everyone occasionally forgets to switch to silent or vibrate, but for the love of BlackBerry, at least have a ringer that won't embarrass you if it went off at a Presidential news conference.

The Etiquette of Interviewing and Networking in a Web 2.0 World

2009-06-26T10:22:00.005-04:00

Recently, I was interviewed about how to make the best impression in a job interview and in networking situations by Resume Bay Radio. To listen to the podcast, click here.

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Five Tips for Dressing Like A Jet-setter on a Shoe-string Budget

2009-06-23T20:58:00.006-04:00

By Ava Pierce, Guest Blogger

I saw a quote once that fit my life perfectly. It read: “I’m a rich woman trapped in a working woman’s body.” If you’re like me and you have five-star dreams on a three-star budget, here are five tips that can help you dress like an international jet-setter without breaking the bank:

Luxury brand outlet stores are great sources for finding expensive clothing and accessories at discounted prices (sometimes up to 75% off). To find outlets in your area, go to Outlet Locator Outlet Bound. You can also search the websites of your favorite designer brands – Gucci, Prada, Tory Burch, D&G, etc. – as well as up-and-coming local designers to find their outlet locations.
Mix and match. Fast-fashion coupled with some lux items can create a really nice look. No one will ever know that you’re wearing H&M, Celine, Zara and Giuseppe Zanotti in the same outfit unless you tell them.
Accessory rental. There are quite a few websites and stores where you can rent designer handbags, sunglasses, jewelry and watches. Here are a few resources to get you started: Bag, Borrow or Steal; From Bags to Riches; Kiss My Bag; and Rent Me A Handbag.
One of my favorite ways to find designer fashions at affordable prices is sample sales. These events, held in stores and showrooms, offer clothing, accessories and housewares at 50% to 75% below retail prices. Some sample sales are held regularly; others are held only a few times each year. Not all stores and showrooms are open to the public every day so you should call ahead. Websites like Shop It To Me, as well as members-only shopping communities such as Ideeli, TheTopSecret, Beyond the Rack and Gilt Groupe, offer sale announcements as well as links to online sample sales. (If you’re not yet a member, add your name to their waiting list for an invitation.)
Trade designer clothes and accessories with friends. Make it festive by having a monthly “exchange party” with some of your close friends. Naturally, you will all agree to take good care of each other’s belongings.

What’s most important is to remember that being a jet-setter is not just about wearing designer clothing and accessories. Your style should be coupled with confidence and civility. In other words, always be fabulous, inside and out!

Ava Pierce is a 30-something jet-setter-in-training who shares her shopping, traveling and socializing resources at Ava Pierce: The Blog. Whether you’re a jet-setting dreamer or an experienced globetrotter, you can enjoy her Jet Set Tips of the Day as well as her rants and raves about everything from traveling around the globe to learning how to sashay in her stilettos without breaking an ankle.

Use Good Pet Etiquette During "Take Your Dog To Work Day"

2009-06-22T15:19:00.006-04:00

You may think your office is going to the dogs, literally, as thousands of dog lovers celebrate “Take Your Dog to Work Day” on Friday, June 26, 2009. According to a recent survey conducted by The American Pet Products Manufacturers Association (APPMA), nearly one in five companies in the U.S. allow pets in the workplace. If you’re planning to participate and bring your favorite canine companion to the office, here are some pet etiquette tips to follow:

Do an office check. Check with management and co-workers to see if anyone is allergic, afraid of or opposed to you bringing your dog to work for this special day. (If there is anyone in your office who fits this description, perhaps they should take that day off!)

Puppy-proof your work space. Remove poisonous plants, hide electrical cords and wires and secure toxic items such as correction fluid, permanent markers, etc. Any office items in question should be placed out of your dog’s reach.

Bathe and groom your dog before its office debut. The dog days of summer can take their toll on your pet’s appearance. Everyone loves to pet a dog that is soft, clean and well-groomed.

Know your dog’s temperament. Dogs that are aggressive or overly shy should not accompany you to work. Instead, consider bringing a favorite picture of your pooch or a stuffed animal to display in honor of TYDTWDay.

Prepare a doggie bag. Include food, treats, bowls, toys, leash, paper towels, clean-up bags and pet-safe disinfectant (just in case). If you are routinely in and out of your work space, consider bringing a portable kennel for your dog’s comfort, safety and your peace of mind.

Avoid forcing co-workers to interact with your dog. Dog lovers will make themselves known. To avoid pet accidents or if your pet has a sensitive stomach, ask others to refrain from giving your dog treats without your permission. Finally, don’t allow your pet to jump, chew or drool on others. A well-mannered dog is a joy to be around and will help ensure that TYDTWDay is observed next year.

* * *

My Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Oliver, comes to the office with me everyday. He loves to sleep at my feet while I work. For more information on Take Your Dog to Work Day, go to www.takeyourdog.com.

Tips on Tipping in a Recession

2009-06-22T12:06:00.004-04:00

Is it acceptable to skip on the tip in a recession? Is it okay to leave less now that you're making less? See what I have to say on tipping etiquette on CBS Channel 12 News:

Click here to view the video.

Five Tips for Cracking the Summer Dress Code

2009-06-19T16:45:00.003-04:00

By Mary Lou Andre, Guest Blogger

Between Memorial Day and Labor Day, offices all over the country tend to get a little more casual. While many professionals welcome the opportunity to shed more formal business attire and be a bit more relaxed in their appearance, many more are unsure where to draw the line. Here are five tips for maintaining a professional image that won't cost you your reputation (or your paycheck!) this summer:

Think business first, casual second. "Business casual" is actually an oxymoron. No matter the weather, you are wise to think business first, casual second — or never, if that is your preference. Light weight suiting and career separates with conservative necklines and hemlines coordinated with equally professional footwear, tops and accessories are the way to go in warm weather.

Know the code. Before hitting the mall to add some new summer items to your wardrobe, review your office dress code to be sure what you select is appropriate for where you work. For instance, many companies frown on any type of sandal being worn to the office. Be a conformist in a good way by selecting closed-toe summer footwear that honors your personal style while giving you professional clout with the powers that be.

Connect with your inner wisdom. Deep down we all know which clothes make us feel most powerful, credible and business-like. If you have to, separate your summer play clothes from your work clothes and simplify the latter. In many parts of the country, summer is the shortest season of the year. You probably don't need a large collection of work clothes to get you dressed and out the door looking (and feeling!) like a pro.

Get groomed. Don't let your personal grooming routine go on vacation while you're still expected at work. For instance, showing up to any professional business engagement unshaven or with wet hair can signal that you are unorganized, lazy or lack common sense. The best part about personal grooming — it doesn't have to cost a lot and allows you to show respect for yourself, which instantly shows respect for others.

Be consistent year-round. Finally, no matter your work style (or the time of year), there is a lot to be said about being consistent. Anchor yourself into a stable image that represents the most capable image of you every day of the week. You'll brand yourself (as well as the company you represent) as reliable and serious about getting your job done.

Last Word
Work doesn't stop in the summer months. Your professional image shouldn't stop working for you either. Taking the time early in the season to go through your closet to retire items that no longer work while noting what you need to add to get you out the door faster and appropriately dressed for the day ahead is time well spent. When you shop in your closet first, shopping at the store is more efficient and cost effective.

Mary Lou Andre is a nationally recognized wardrobe, dress code and corporate image consultant, speaker and author. She is founder and president of Organization By Design, Inc., a Needham, Massachusetts-based wardrobe management, fashion and image consulting firm that helps individuals and organizations understand the power of being appropriately dressed in a variety of situations. For more great tips and information, visit dressingwell.com.

The Dos and Don'ts of Hugging Etiquette

2009-06-16T15:26:00.006-04:00

By Jorie Scholnik, Guest Blogger

Is saying hello and giving a handshake outdated? Not yet, but apparently hugging seems to be the latest trend and is taking over as a standard greeting among the younger set. Hugging, typically viewed as a sign of affection, and has sparked much debate in schools across the country. In fact, hugging is so popular in some high schools that officials have banned this gesture of affection or imposed the three-second rule.

It's amazing how something so innocuous can divide the world into categories: pro-huggers and anti-huggers. Before you quickly place yourself on either side, remember that hugging is a personal choice that varies from person to person. Therefore, especially when in the business world, consider the following dos and don’ts of hugging before you go in for a big one.

Always respect another person's space. An individual’s family background, culture, age and gender play a major role in the acceptance or displeasure of a hug. Usually, like a kiss, you can tell from a person’s body language if they would be willing to receive a hug or not.

Follow the three-second rule. Keep the hug short and avoid placing your arm too low around the other person. Longer hugs have a certain connotation and could have negative repercussions if a co-worker’s spouse or significant other is present.

Pass the sniff test. By sniff, I mean sniffles and smell. If you are sniffling because you are sick, the other person will appreciate not catching your cold. Additionally, if you just finished working out or are perspiring, it may not be the best time for a bear hug. No one enjoys a hug from someone who reeks of alcohol.

Ask permission when you need or want to share a hug. If you ask permission, the receiver will feel respected and have an opportunity to voice their comfort level. It is especially important to ask before you give a giant bear hug to your boss, client or new employee. In these situations, you may want to opt for the age-old handshake. In fact, if you have to ask, you probably shouldn’t do it.

Avoid awkward moments. If you are with a group of people and you know some people better than others, give your new acquaintances a handshake first and then follow with hugs for those you know well. Therefore, you won’t have to guess if your new acquaintances are pro-huggers or anti-huggers. Always be considerate of other’s boundaries.

Consider frequency and occasion. There may be more appropriate occasions for a hug such as when you haven’t seen a co-worker for an extended period of time or if you’re at a holiday party. A hug is not necessary if you see a co-worker on a regular basis.

Jorie Scholnik is currently pursuing her masters and specialist degrees in Mental Health Counseling and Marriage and Family Counseling at the University of Florida. She has been interning seasonally at the Protocol School of Palm Beach since June 2006.

Casual Fridays become a casualty of the recession

2009-06-06T16:44:00.008-04:00

In the face of a sluggish economy and almost daily workforce downsizings, some employees are paying more attention to their wardrobe -- convinced they can't look disheveled or too laid back.

From power dressing for after-work networking to looking their best for a boss they might see in the elevator, some employees are picking their outfits as if their jobs depend on it. In some offices, casual Friday has become a casualty of the recession.

Research suggests dressing well can make a difference. A 2008 CareerBuilder.com survey found 41 percent of employers said people who dress professionally tend to be promoted more often than others in the organization. The bottom line is to practice "next-level" dressing. In other words, dress for the job you someday want.

While relaxed dress codes might be nice, casual Fridays often go too far -- as in this very funny episode of NBC's comedy "The Office," where Meredith, played by Kate Flannery, wears a dress that's much too short. (To enjoy, click below and don't forget to turn up the volume on your computer!)

"Being Nice" Is Back in Vogue

2009-06-02T15:46:00.003-04:00

If you ask most people, they will tell you that the recession is a bad thing. I agree. But I also think the recession has created a kind of equality (and humbleness) among millions of Americans. This is a good thing.

People are seeking simplicity. There is a yearning for kinder, more gentler times. "We are now in an age of nice," according to Eric G. Wilson, an English professor at Wake Forest University. The Obama administration may be partly to blame. The Obamas have been criticized for being too friendly to some repressive world leaders. After all, who can forget the "touching moment" that Michelle Obama shared with Britain's Queen Elizabeth II?

Even teenagers are jumping on the Nice Bandwagon and are being accused of hugging too much in school. Administrators are not so enthusiastic. According the the article, "Schools from Hillsdale, N.J. to Bend, Oregon...have banned hugging or imposed a three-second rule." And does the three-second rule for hugging have anything to do with the five-second rule for eating food that's fallen on the floor?

Then there's the blog, OperationNice.com, that posts articles about good deeds and asks bloggers to take an oath of niceness. The blog was created less than a year ago by Melissa Morris Ivone, a 28-year-old graphic designer in Cinnaminson, N.J., who was inspired after a stranger held the door for her in an elevator. So far, more than 1,100 readers, many of them fellow bloggers like me, have taken her oath of niceness, and have posted an Operation Nice seal of approval on our blogs and Facebook pages.

Cafes like the Q Kindness Cafe in St. Paul, MN, are popping up all around the country encouraging diners to express random acts of kindness. You'll never get a bill at The Upper Room Cafe in Mount Dora, Florida because they survive on donations only. You order, eat, then pay what you can.

Yes, being nice has many benefits. Research indicates that people who might be categorized as nice tend to have lower blood pressure and lower divorce rates. Doctors who take an extra few minutes to talk with patients are sued less often for malpractice. And companies that foster a nice atmosphere have higher retention rates. Therefore, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain when you are nice to others. I guess Mom was right again when she said to me growing up, "Kill'em with kindness!"

What do you say when your server asks 'How's your meal?' | Jacksonville.com

2009-05-27T17:16:00.001-04:00

What do you say when your server asks 'How's your meal?' | Jacksonville.com

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Catch the Manners Virus: National Etiquette Week is May 11-15, 2009

2009-05-10T16:42:00.003-04:00

Let's all celebrate National Etiquette Week, May 11-15, 2009, in an effort to practice courtesy, civility, good manners and kindness with others.

Being kind, civil and courteous is the number one way to prevent the spread of bad manners. And civility is contagious. When you speak kindly, think positively and say “thank you,” others will respond in a positive way. Spread a little civility, courtesy and kindness with these simple acts of good manners:

Use a little e-kindness: Electronic mail is quick, easy and accessible. Make sure it is thoughtful and thorough. Never send an e-mail when you're angry.

Work well with others: A skill taught in kindergarten, working well with others is a life-long goal.

Practice saying thank you, please, excuse me and you’re welcome to co-workers, sales clerks, and family members more often.

Listen more than you speak. Focus on the other person and what they are saying. Try to refrain from multi-tasking and checking your cell phone or Blackberry when others are talking to you.

Spread the touch of a hand-written note: It speaks volumes about you and your leadership skills.

Source: The Etiquette & Leadership Institute

Royal Etiquette? Michelle Obama Hugs The Queen

2009-04-02T17:09:00.006-04:00

When Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II said to the President and Mrs. Obama, “Let’s keep in touch,” no one suspected that she meant it quite literally. When one thinks of the queen, “touchy feely” usually doesn’t enter one’s mind. Until now.

Her Royal Highness made it crystal clear yesterday at Buckingham Palace in London that she likes the first lady very much as she gently put her arm around her waist. In general, it is a breach in protocol if someone embraces the queen first. However, in this case, it was the queen who made the first move. Michelle simply reciprocated with a hug that looked like something you would see a daughter give to her mother. This bold move both shocked and warmed the hearts of all who witnessed the warm embrace.

Historically, the queen is not known for showing affection in public, or in private for that matter. It’s been said that her son, Prince Charles, complained on one occasion that he wasn’t given enough affection as a child.

This “touching” moment sparks the question, “Could it be that the queen is starting to mellow as she ages or does she simply admire qualities in Michelle that she sees in herself?” After all, if you mix brilliance, strength and confidence with a little bit of kindness the two women make the perfect pair!

Royalty Etiquette: The President Meets the Queen

2009-04-01T20:16:00.004-04:00

President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama looked both nervous and excited as they greeted Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip today at Buckingham Palace. As the couple entered the room, the queen eagerly extended her right hand. Both the President and Mrs. Obama gave the royal couple the “glove” or the two-handed handshake, (a handshake generally reserved for people you know very well). However, this most likely was their way of showing respect to Her Royal Highness. After exchanging a few pleasantries, the royal photographer asked the foursome to strike a pose. It was no surprise that President and Mrs. Obama towered over the diminutive, 5’4” queen. As both couples stood side by side, everyone was careful not to touch each other, even by accident. This greeting have been terribly uncomfortable for President Obama as he is known for giving warm and fuzzy pats on the back when he meets a person. Dressed in a conservative black and white dress, Mrs. Obama played it safe and maintained the girlish “fig leaf” position with her hands crossed in front of her body, a position that it not commonly used by confident women. This could also have been a case of nerves. After all, who wouldn’t be nervous meeting the queen?

How to Fold a Fitted Sheet

2009-03-13T16:49:00.005-04:00

For years I have struggled with folding my fitted sheets. I was delighted when I found this informative video.

Top 10 Ways to Create a Cozy Atmosphere for Houseguests

2009-02-04T20:26:00.006-05:00

Place fine soap, mini shampoo, conditioner and bodywash in the guest's bathroom.
Use linen napkins and linen tableclothes instead of paper napkins.
Vary your dinner dishes for each course instead of using matched sets.
Have fresh flowers throughout your home.
Place local magazines, bottled water, an alarm clock and fine chocolates on the night table beside your guest's bed.
Provide a choice of foam or feather pillows.
Keep a bottle of red and white wine on hand.
Keep regular and decaffeinated coffee and tea on hand.
Place a clean bathrobe in the guest's closet.
Have music playing when your guests arrive.

Biggest Mistake You Can Make When Emailing Your Resume

2009-01-11T21:34:00.002-05:00

Want to make sure your resume gets read? Then never send your resume in an attachment unless you're asked to do so. Instead, copy and paste it into your email message. Most prospective employers and employment agencies are reluctant to download documents that might carry computer viruses.

More tips: Make the subject line specific and put your name in the subject line. Ex: "David Johnson's resume." Be sure to correct any typestyles that might be lost in the copy-and-paste process, such as boldfaced or underlined text. And make sure you limit each line to 72 characters or less. Most email programs wrap text around at 72 characters. That means any line longer gets cut off and dropped down to the next line -- making your resume look like it was hit by a chainsaw.

Social Networking Etiquette in the Technology Age

2008-12-09T15:53:00.002-05:00

By: Jorie Scholnik, Guest Blogger

If I was a betting person, I would wager that you probably checked your Facebook page today, if not multiple times. I say that because according to comScore, Facebook is the fourth most-trafficked website in the world with more than 130 million active users. Currently, more than 30 million photos are updated daily and there are over 55,000 regional, work-related, collegiate and high school networks. It is no surprise that with networking opportunities, more than half of Facebook users are now outside of college and the fastest growing demographic is those 25 years and older. Now, with the mix of college students and professionals being active on the same website, there are several etiquette issues that arise. Here are five tips to make sure that your social networking page is personal yet professional:

1. Remember that the Internet is a public space. You should only include items on your profile that you wouldn't mind seeing on the front page of a newspaper. Even with privacy settings, your information is still widely available to employers. Therefore, try to avoid posting racy photos or notes complaining about your boss.

2. Ask permission before posting pictures of your friends on your profile. Inappropriate pictures linked to a person’s name can cause embarrassment to an individual both personally and professionally. Keep in mind that because the pictures need to be manually removed by the person, they can be readily available to their potential employers for some time.

3. Avoid sending a friend request to people you work with. It could be considered inappropriate and crosses too many boundaries, especially if people want to keep their personal and professional lives separate. As a result of having co-workers as friends, you will always be on the clock and your profile will be a reflection of your professionalism.

4. Consider having both a personal page and a professional page. This is a good way to limit who can view each page, separate your profile content and network both personally and professionally. However, note that both of your profile pictures will come up if someone searches for you so both should remain clean.

5. Think twice before posting any content on your profile. Your profile is a reflection of your personality, demeanor, friends and professionalism. Once something is posted, people can save it even if you deleted the content from your profile. Because Facebook is so popular, people will form their opinions and judgments about you from the information on your profile.

Jorie Scholnik graduated from the University of Florida in May 2008 and is continuing there to complete her masters degree in mental health counseling. She has interned seasonally at The Protocol School of Palm Beach since June 2006. She is one of the 130 million active users of Facebook and has encountered multiple examples of employers and universities checking students’ profiles.

Tip Jar Etiquette Causes Confusion

2008-12-03T15:39:00.007-05:00

The recent rise of tip jars at coffeehouses, sandwich shops, and ice-cream parlors has changed the tipping etiquette landscape, leaving consumers confused. Some even believe that the tip jar is an inanimate equivalent of an outstretched hand. I believe that putting money in a tip jar is completely voluntary. However, if I know the person serving me is making minimum wage or less and their income is supplemented by tips, I will usually be more generous. I pondered the etiquette of the ubiquitous tip jar and asked some of my other etiquette consultant friends what they thought would be correct. Here is what they had to say.

"When I first saw tip jars I found them egregious, But then I thought, 'If I tip the wait staff at a sit-down restaurant, why not tip the people who serve me at other types of food establishments?' I particularly soften when the tip jar is labeled “College Fund”, and the young people behind the counter are polite and accommodating. Generally a dollar and change drop into the jar, more for some people, such as the young man who manages an ice cream shop near my home. He is so friendly and accommodating! I know he has young children, so there is an incentive to contribute. The second came one day as he was packing my cone with two, chocolate-almond scoops. His wife came in with their two-year and an infant in a carriage—from that point on my tip doubled!!" Janet Parnes, www.etiquettefortoday.net

"I agree that putting money in the tip jar is completely voluntary and admit, that I very often do tip as a sign of appreciation. Love the quote referring to the tip jar as the "inanimate equivalent of an outstretched hand." I do believe great customer service needs to rewarded and whether it is in the form of a tip, in the tip jar, or a complimentary customer feedback card, the server is compensated for their fine service. Lauren Vitalie, The Vital Image, www.the-vital-image.com

"I once thought putting a tip jar out was a bit presumptuous and a bit 'tacky.' Today, it is so common that it does not offend me as it did before. The tip I leave is determined by the establishment. I usually give my leftover coin change at Starbucks…the employees are always warm and friendly and I am happy to tip. It is usually 90 cents for a $2.10 iced tea…40% of the bill. Occasionally, if I have exact change, I may not tip at all. On the other hand, this morning I left a $5 tip for a $12 ticket at the IHOP around the corner. It is close to my house and I often call ahead to order something for my son on the way to school. They are always giving us special treatment. This restaurant is amazingly clean, the servers are great, and I like to tip more.

If the restaurant offers “curbside” service, I tip 20% of the bill.
If I sit down and am served, I leave 20-25%.
If it is a “Mom and Pop” wait in line type place and the service is friendly, I will leave leftover coin change and a dollar bill.
If I leave a larger tip in any of the above situations, it is because like Pauline, “I am moved by the faces of the people behind the counter”.
Interestingly, you do not see tip jars at the chain convenience restaurants. Instead, often a charity display will accept your leftover change."

Theresa Thomas, Certified Etiquette Consultant, Villa Park, CA

"I'll contribute all change and a dollar bill. I think it's a little degrading to have a jar (handwritten note, et. al, ) on a counter --especially when food is being passed. However, I am moved by the faces of the people behind the counter. I'm also a sucker for tipping piano players (and any strolling musicians) who play a song I request." Pauline Winick, Miami, Florida, www.protocolcentre.com

"If I receive good service, I always drop a dollar or two in the jar. I do not feel it is obligatory. Even if it’s only a small amount, I do not feel people should be rewarded unless they do a good job. Sometimes, I feel it is presumptuous of a store/restaurant to have a tip jar."
Peggy M. Parks, AICI CIP, President, The Parks Image Group, Inc., www.TheParksImageGroup.com

Do you think it is necessary to leave a tip when you see a tip jar? Let me know what you think.

The Four P’s to Perfect Holiday Etiquette

2008-11-09T19:16:00.002-05:00

By Guest Blogger: Grace Oforiokuma, Director, Style & Grace

When most of us think of the holidays, we generally think of festivities, indulgent eating, the giving of gifts, warm wishes and time spent with family and friends. Whatever the ‘holidays’ mean to you, for the majority of us they are a time to relax and have fun. However, in all the merriment it is easy to let our guard down and our manners along with it!

When it comes to good holiday manners I it's wise to observe the four P's:

People
Places
Politeness
Presents

Where people are concerned always remember cultural and religious differences. Not everyone celebrates Christmas and Thanksgiving. Appreciate and show consideration for other consecrated, religious and commemorative days, in addition to those you recognize. In accordance, it would be inappropriate to give a cooked ham as a gift on a Jewish or Moslem holiday!

The place or location of holiday festivities should be respected. If you are invited into someone’s home to share the celebrations try not to drop your food on the carpet, spill your drink or stub out cigarettes in the potted plants.

Politeness is critical to harmonious interactions during the holiday periods. Holiday gatherings in close quarters can sometimes lead to tension and arguments between family members. Keeping your cool will allow you to respond to even the most irritating relative (we all have one!) with respect, thereby diffusing a potential holiday blow up.

Politeness also bears relation to the manner in which you conduct yourself, for example eating most of the expensive Belgian chocolates all by yourself, or bringing up the contents of your stomach on the front lawn (due to excessive alcohol consumption) is not just impolite, it is plain rude!

Holidays often call for the giving of presents. Try to buy appropriate gifts for each person, especially where cultural or religious differences exist. Take your time to choose something that each person would actually use or like to have. Don’t buy gifts that are more suited to you than to the receiver. A thoughtful gift, even though inexpensive, will be more appreciated than the most expensive thoughtless gift.

A fifth ‘P’ must be added to include pleasure. While bearing in mind the points above, it is absolutely essential to have an enjoyable and pleasurable time during the holidays. Let your hair down, but not your manners!

Grace Oforiokuma is the director of Style & Grace, a leading etiquette and protocol services company based in West Africa, dedicated to the global empowerment of corporations and individuals through personal development. Grace has many years of international work experience, assimilating social and business etiquette and protocols in diverse countries including the USA, Chile, the UK and Nigeria.

10 Blackberry Commandments

2008-10-25T18:07:00.004-04:00

Thou shalt not take the BlackBerry to any table with food on it or family around it. A BlackBerry is not a fruit, nor does it come from a tree.
Thou shalt not use the BlackBerry as reading material in the event of insomnia. It will only worsen your situation.
Thou shalt not BlackBerry in lieu of responding to a child's request (e.g., "Wait a second, I'm reading something").
Thou shalt not place the BlackBerry within distance of hearing its incessant beeps while at home. It is not a bird.
Thou shalt not check the BlackBerry as if it were your baby. It will not cry or stop breathing.
Thou shalt not confuse number of e-mails with self-worth.
Thou shalt do everything possible to misplace your BlackBerry on weekends. "There's No Place Like Home" will never be the tagline for the BlackBerry company.
Thou shalt remember that a BlackBerry is not a body appendage. It is a device that belongs in your briefcase or on your desk, not in social settings.
Thou shalt refrain from bringing the BlackBerry to events involving family interaction. Extraneous dialogue with this contraption in lieu of real conversation suggests addiction.
Thou shalt never, ever, ever bring the BlackBerry to bed. Do this and you are BlackBuried!

This was reprinted with permission by Joey Reiman, BrightHouse CEO and Founder. It was originally printed in the November 2008 issue of Pink magazine.

How to Crack and Eat a Lobster

2008-10-14T21:27:00.007-04:00

By Guest Blogger: Carol Bory, Carol Bory Etiquette Consulting

The most frequent question I receive at my dining etiquette workshops is how to crack a lobster. For the adventurous ones, below are step-by-step instructions.

I also found a very good video of a chef demonstrating how to crack a lobster. Click on the lobster image to the right to view the video.

1. Place the lobster shell-side down.

2. Separate the tail from the body by bending the lobster backwards and twisting the tail.

3. Place a fork in the tail meat and tightly pull the meat from the shell. This will require a little force. Remove the black vein from the top of the tail and discard it along with the shells in a separate bowl. Cut the lobster meat into bite-size pieces and using a seafood fork dip the meat in melted butter or a sauce and eat in one bite.

4. Twist off the claws at the joints and crack the claw shell using a lobster cracker. This may require using the lobster cracker a few times before you can extract the meat. Remove the meat from the shell by using a lobster fork or your fingers. Again, place the claw shell in a separate bowl. Cut the lobster meat into bite-size pieces and using a seafood fork dip the meat in melted butter or a sauce and eat in one bite.

5. Tear off the legs and suck out the meat if you choose. Discard the shells.

6. Place the body shell-side down and pull the shell outwards separating the meat from the shell. Discard the shell in a separate bowl. Using a fork remove the tomalley, the green liver, from the round pockets. For some, the tomalley is considered a delicacy; others do not care for the taste. Cut the remaining lobster meat into bite-size pieces and using a seafood fork dip the meat in melted butter or a sauce and eat in one bite.

Carol Bory is a certified etiquette consultant based in Phoenix, Arizona. Visit her website at www.carolbory.com.

Want to Appear More Polished? Get Organized With These Very Merry Timesaving Tips

2008-10-13T11:24:00.005-04:00

By Guest Blogger: Geralin Thomas, president of Metropolitan Organizing ® LLC

While the holidays may seem far away, you can guarantee less stress for that busy time of year if you take advantage of time this autumn to get ahead of the game and cross some items off your holiday to-do list. Here are a few ideas to minimize the chaos.

GATHER ALL YOUR TAX-DEDUCTIBLE CHARITABLE CONTRIBUTIONS in one place. Make last minute donations no later than December 31, 2008 for credit toward this year’s taxes.

PLAN YOUR TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS. If you plan to fly, it’s no secret that the price will drop two days after you buy the ticket. I highly recommend YAPTA.com, which is an airlines fare-checker. Your Amazing Personal Travel Assistant (YAPTA) is a free-of-charge website that helps you check airfares for various airlines. It will automatically send you a note if/when the fares drop. (You purchase the ticket on your own.) YAPTA.com installs free on your computer. The best news is that it continues checking the fares even after you buy your ticket, and you may be eligible for a refund. (Again, you contact the airline and negotiate the refund on your own.) Line up hotel reservations and car rentals to avoid the dreaded news of no vacancy and no availability.

SHOP THE MALLS ON TUESDAYS AND WEDNESDAYS. These are the days of the week that the malls are less crowded.

HO, HO, HO, OFF YOUR PACKAGES GO! Avoid the post office during the holidays whenever possible. Did you know you can get free Priority Mail boxes and request a free pickup? Your mail carrier comes to your house and picks up your packages, free of charge. For more information, or to print a shipping label, go to www.usps.com, click and ship.

TRAFFIC. When scheduling your appointments, don’t grab the first morning slot, because chances are you will end up waiting in rush-hour traffic. Instead, ask for the first appointment after lunch. And remember, by not sitting in traffic you will waste less gas.

Geralin Thomas is a Chronic Disorganization and ADHD Professional Organizing Specialist. She helps clients lead less cluttered lives in their homes and home offices and encourages them to strive for excellence rather than perfection in all matters related to organizing, procrastination and productivity. For more information, visit: http://www.metropolitanorganizing.com.

Jacqueline Whitmore's Book, "Business Class," Is Now Available in China

2008-10-06T11:37:00.004-04:00

My book, "Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work," is now available in China! If you are interested in purchasing a copy you can order it by going to:
http://tinyurl.com/47jwgb.

10th Annual Forbes Executive Women's Forum Draws Powerful Women From All Over the World

2008-09-29T21:53:00.013-04:00

What happens when you get a group of high-powered, high-heeled alpha-women in one room for two days? You have the 10th annual Forbes Executive Women's Forum held at the luxurious Essex House in New York City. I was so fortunate to attend this exhilarating and educational event on September 24-25, 2008!

The theme was "Building Bridges," which I thought was perfect, considering the tough economic environment in which we live. Times like these demand leaders with the vision to see past tomorrow. When change is afoot and growth is questionable, leaders need to take a step back, assess -- maybe redirect -- strategize and then figure out the smartest way to build for the future.

For two days, outstanding panelists and guest speakers gave the 175 female attendees a glimpse into their strategic business models which have contributed to their success. The line-up of speakers was impressive: The Honorable Tarja Halonen, president, Republic of Finland, Annie McKee, Ph.D, author of Becoming a Resonant Leader, Resonant Leadership, Sharon Allen, Chairman of the Board, Deloitte LLP, Carolyn Bivens, Commissioner, Ladies Professional Golf Association (LPGA), Karen Wickre, Senior Manager, Global Communications & Public Affairs, Google, Tamara Erickson, author of Plugged In: The Generation Y Guide to Thriving at Work, Lisa Ellis, Executive Vice President, Sony Music Label Group, Jo Luck, President and CEO, Heifer Project International, Shelly Lazarus, Chairman and CEO, Ogilvy & Mather Worldwide, Louise V. Oliver, Ambassador and Permanent Representative, U.S. Mission to the United Nations Educational, Scientific & Cultural Organization (UNESCO), Cathie Black, President of Hearst Magazines, Christie Hefner, Chairman and CEO, Playboy Enterprises, Inc. and many, many more!

For me, one of the highlights of the conference included a audience-driven discussion about women, power and change. It was fascinating to hear the different views and opinions from some of the most powerful and talented businesswomen in the world! It was awe-inspiring!

I was also fortunate to meet and be inspired by Marilyn Carlson Nelson, Chairman of Carlson, a global group of integrated companies providing travel, hotel, restaurant, cruise and marketing services. She candidly discussed the challenges and rigors of being a leader in our always-on, see-through world -- and how to rise above it. By the way, Marilyn was named one of Forbes' "100 Most Powerful Women." (pictured with me above).

If you are a woman interested in learning from some of the best and brightest females in business, then this conference is a must for you! To read more about the conference and future conferences, go to http://snipurl.com/3y8fv.

New Hires Should Think Twice Before Getting a Tattoo

2008-09-08T13:41:00.003-04:00

If you're job hunting, be sure to cover up your tatoos. "For baby boomers, tatoos represent an association with criminals and sailors, and it just doesn't relay a professional message," says Gretchen Neels, president of Neels & Co., a skills training firm.

About 40 percent of Americans ages 26 to 40 have a tatoo, according to the Pew Research Center. Personally, I am not against tatoos as long as they are in good taste. Besides, my husband sports a small Ironman symbol on the upper part of his back, between his shoulder blades.

If you work in a "creative career," like entertainment, it most likely isn't an issue. But in more traditional job environments, inking up still carries a negative connotation. Regardless of your qualities and abilities, people still make judgements based on appearance. Christus Finley, 31, a new home sales consultant, says she's gotten stares because of her tatoo of a sun, moon and star on her ankle. Today Finley regrets the tatoo, which she got at age 18 for $90 and is now in the process of removing. (The cost runs nearly $1,000 over five treatments.)

It may be many years before businesspeople are judged solely on their merits and not their tatoos. So until that time, just cover it up. It's not worth getting passed over for a great job opportunity.

Travel Tips for Traveling Light

2008-08-24T11:28:00.002-04:00

The single most important aspect of planning for a trip is the packing process. I travel quite a bit and thought I knew how to pack with purpose. But I have discovered a website that has changed my entire viewpoint of packing. At www.onebag.com, you'll learn to pack just what you need without all the extras. As a woman, I seem to pack my share of extras. Some of my favorite items to pack include my Karen Neuburger chenille socks (www.karenneuburger.com/pl/c/129.html), eye shades, and night light.

Since traveling is so grueling these days, it's important to pack a couple of items that remind you of home. If I am checking luggage, I travel with my sleep sound machine (http://www.hammacher.com/publish/60586.asp). It is a device that produces a gentle white noise...a must if you are a light sleeper or staying in a noisy hotel. When I check into a hotel, I request a quiet room located on a high floor, away from the elevator or ice machine. You can even ask for a room that is NOT connected with another room for maximum privacy. If you are staying in a hotel for more than two days, you might consider requesting a refrigerator from the housekeeping department. Seek out a grocery store when you arrive and purchase a few of your favorite munchies. This will also save you some money (which your clients will appreciate). These little extras add comfort and convenience when traveling.

And one last tip...if you hate paying those extra charges for Internet access, invest in an air card. My Sprint Air Card simply plugs into my laptop and I have access to the Internet anywhere, anytime; except when I'm 30,000 feet up in the air. Got to run and catch a plane. Happy traveling!

Guest Blogger: Janet Spurr Offers Her Top 10 Beach Etiquette Tips

2008-08-17T11:31:00.005-04:00

Today we have a guest blog from my friend, Janet Spurr. Janet and I met at the Maui Writers Conference (www.mauiwriters.com) in 2002.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My favorite time at the beach is when I get to experience the quiet moments which help to center me in a crazy world. There are few places left in the world, were we can just be and not have to do. In my book Beach Chair Diaries, Summer Tales from Maine to Maui, I try to bring that great relaxing feeling of being at the beach to all my readers. I hope that the next time you visit the beach, you'll remember some of these top ten beach manners.

When walking on the beach, try not to flip sand on people's towels. When leaving the beach, take your sandy towel far from other people to shake it.
Respect a person's personal space. Do not sit too close to someone else or another party.
Position your umbrella deep into the sand, so it doesn't blow away.
Keep your radio down so others don't have to listen to your music.
If you smoke, move away from others, especially the people down wind.
Don't yell into your cell phone.
Take any sports, such as ball throwing, kite flying, etc. far away from others.
While enjoying water sports, be sure that you aren't riding a wave on top of others.
Do not feed seagulls, ever.
Remember to pick up all of your garbage. Try to recycle and be mindful of sea grass, dunes and other environmental areas.

Janet Spurr grew up on Cape Cod, lives north of Boston and can be found at any beach, almost anytime. Her new book, Beach Chair Diaries, Summer Tales from Maine to Maui was created for the beach lover or summer person who misses it and wants that warm relaxed feeling year round. To order the book go to http://www.beachchairdiaries.com.

Children Enhance Reading Skills When Tutoring with Taylor, The Therapy Dog

2008-08-07T12:04:00.007-04:00

My yellow lab, Taylor, is a certified therapy dog and has been spending the dog days of summer at the West Palm Beach Public Library, where she tutors children. The children each have the opportunity to spend up to15 minutes reading to Taylor every Saturday morning. They enjoy Taylor because she is a good listener and doesn’t judge them if they make a mistake or mispronounce a word. According to a segment on MSNBC, it is becoming a trend for therapy dogs to visit public libraries and classrooms to tutor children in reading. To watch the segment, go to: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/#26011422. These programs are having positive results and the children are reading more words per minute.

10 Chinese Etiquette Tips to Observe at the 2008 Summer Olympics

2008-08-06T10:51:00.009-04:00

The 2008 Summer Olympics are right around the corner. Beijing, China will be buzzing from August 8-24. If you are planning on attending the Olympics, it is wise to be prepared and enter China knowing the proper etiquette. I found a great article from MSNBC.com that gives some helpful tips about Chinese etiquette and how to respect their cultural differences.

1. Banquets: You don't have to eat everything (you can't possibly anyway, there will be too much food). But try a little of every dish by putting some on your plate or rice bowl. You don't have to eat it, but as foreign guest, you're supposed to be served first. If you don't try something, your host will be embarrassed—and most likely, will put it on your plate for you.

2. Bargaining: Open air markets, privately run stores are best for bargaining. (Large department stores have set prices.) Remember to establish a friendly rapport first. You are creating a relationship with the merchant, not a price war. Think of it this way: Bargaining is to the Chinese what seduction is to the French. Shouting, arguing, and pointing are not very seductive. Smiling, being friendly, offering to buy more for a better price are. And don't be afraid to ask, "Can you offer me a better price?"

3. Cars: Never, ever assume pedestrians have the right of way. Cars will not necessarily stop for you. Cross with a group if possible at a designated crosswalk. A car won't stop for a single person necessarily but will stop for a group because the driver doesn't want the car to be dented. Chinese really love their cars.

4. Chopsticks: Don't point with them at other people's faces. Don't stab your food with them like toothpicks. Don't lick them. And by all means don't stick them upright in your rice bowl—that's how the Chinese honor the dead at graves.

5. Face: Never shout even when someone has done something wrong. Losing your temper will only make the other person feel that he or she has lost face (i.e. dignity) and will often cause that person to refuse to take responsibility for a problem. Best to smile, keep friendly, and persistently ask the person to *help you* solve whatever problem has arisen.

6. Male-female relationships: Alas, the image of the loose American woman perpetuated by Hollywood movies is alive and well globally including in China. If a man makes unwanted advances to you, say loudly the Chinese word for "No," (bu) which is pronounced like the English word "Boo!" If you say it forcefully, it will be in the correct tone. If you are a man, don't be touchy-feely with Chinese women lest they think you are propositioning them.

7. Public displays of affection: While younger Chinese can be as openly demonstrative as Westerners, if not more so, older Chinese are not used to PDAs. Be aware of your surroundings. Around older Chinese anything more than holding hands with your partner or a quick peck on the check might embarrass people.

8. Respect for elders: It's fine to open doors and give up a seat to an older person of either gender. And don't be offended if younger Chinese—male or female—offer you an arm going up stairs or other assistance if you are older. They don't think you're infirm. They're just trying to be polite.

9. Smiling: Chinese smile for more reasons than Americans. A smile can mean the person is embarrassed, trying to be helpful, curious, happy or friendly. In the middle of an argument, smiling means that the speaker doesn't want this to become personal. When all else fails, smile in China. It shows you have no ill intentions and can work wonders in getting better service.

10. Tipping: If you plan to return to a restaurant, then tip. Guidebooks say not to, but in fact most Chinese know enough about the Western world to know that tipping is practiced regularly in other countries. Tips are rarely (in our experience, never) refused and create goodwill.

Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23615910/
Authors: May-lee Chai and Winberg Chai

Dempsey & Carroll Stationery Sale

2008-07-23T10:38:00.002-04:00

Dempsey & Carroll, the venerable New York stationer, will hold its annual sample sale from July 28th to August 31st 2008. During the Sale, Select Motif Correspondence Cards and Note Sheets with detailed, exquisitely engraved images will be marked down to 50-75% off the regular price. Designs usually priced at $45 for a set of ten cards and envelopes will be on sale for as low as $10.

The Sample Sale will take place at Dempsey & Carroll’s New York location from July 28th through August 1st. The sale will continue from August 1st – 31st online at dempseyandcarroll.com and by phone at 877 750 1878.

Dempsey & Carroll’s New York showroom in is located at 136 East 57th Street, Suite 401, and the hours are 9-6 Monday through Thursday and 9-4 on Friday.

Known for its vast library of beautiful engraved images, Dempsey & Carroll offers something for almost everyone. From multi-color floral designs to animals to sport iconography, note cards with special meaning are easy to find. “Whether shopping for themselves or for gifts, our customers can stock up on their favorites and also try something new,” says Jonathan Arnold, General Manager of Dempsey & Carroll. The Sale is a rare opportunity to purchase luxurious stationery at deeply discounted prices.

About Dempsey & Carroll. Since 1878, Dempsey & Carroll has been providing the finest quality engraving on natural fiber papers to political leaders, the social set, and Hollywood icons. By using hand-engraved steel dies and copper plates made to specification, the finest inks, and the most luxurious cotton-fiber papers available, Dempsey & Carroll creates a rich experience for both the giver and receiver of personal correspondence. Personalized engraved stationery, such as social correspondence, wedding invitations and birth announcements, and boxed sets of motif cards, which are “ready to write,” are available through select dealers, at the company’s New York City showroom, and on the web at www.dempseyandcarroll.com.

Tips to Avoid Heated Political Debates at Work

2008-07-17T13:28:00.004-04:00

By: Jorie Scholnik, Guest Blogger

The presidential election in November is just around the corner and between the news coverage, public debates and television ads, people are forming strong opinions about both candidates. While it is complimentary to be knowledgeable about the election and both candidates’ positions, there is a time and place to discuss such matters.

Below are some guidelines about when to steer clear of talking politics and how to avoid a possible confrontation:

1. To avoid possible confrontations, it’s best to refrain from heated debates with coworkers. It can be uncomfortable for coworkers if they feel obligated to vote a certain way because their boss or industry strongly supports one candidate over another. Also, don’t be argumentative and pressure others to justify their choice.

2. Don’t solicit campaign contributions at work. Doing this may put your coworkers in an awkward position as they may not want to contribute, let alone support the candidate of your choice.

3. It is okay to keep silent. If you are uncomfortable discussing politics, politely change the subject or excuse yourself from the conversation. However, if you and your friends feel comfortable talking about the subject, then go ahead. Refrain from coercing people into talking about their candidate of choice if they would rather not discuss it in public. If a person dodges the question once, then it’s best not to bring up the topic again.

4. Don’t be condescending if someone doesn’t know as much about the election or the issues surrounding it. It is commendable to know your facts about the candidates but some people may not be as interested in the process.

5. Respectfully disagree. Remember that everyone is entitled to his/her opinion and you shouldn’t belittle what others believe. There are nice ways to disagree without insulting the other person’s stance such as keeping everything in a conversational tone and letting people finish their thoughts. When you don’t agree, simply say, “I guess we should just agree to disagree on this subject.”

Keep the "Near Ear" Open

2008-07-08T11:55:00.001-04:00

Due to the overwhelming response to National Cellphone Courtesy Month, I have been receiving several tips and tools to conquer cell phone incivility. One response I received was from a cell phone user concerned with cell phone safety. Mark Pines came up with the “Near Ear” concept in an effort to keep a sharp eye out for cars and pedestrians. Mark noticed people talking on cell phones in crowds and traffic. He saw how they often placed themselves needlessly in danger by blocking out their surroundings. By using their cell phone on the ear facing oncoming traffic, they were limiting their ability to hear and see vehicles heading their way. Pines named the ear facing oncoming traffic the Near Ear. Keeping the Near Ear open gives a cell phone user full sound and vision of traffic. Great concept, Mark!

National Cellphone Courtesy Month

2008-07-01T11:38:00.013-04:00

July is National Cellphone Courtesy Month – an event I founded in 2001 with the intent to encourage the increasingly unmindful corps of cellphone users to be more respectful of their surroundings by using some simple cellphone etiquette principles. In honor of National Cell Phone Courtesy Month, here are seven tips to those who want to improve their cell phone savvy:

1. Let your voicemail take your calls when you're in meetings, courtrooms, restaurants or other busy areas. If you must speak to the caller, use the e-mail or text messaging feature or excuse yourself and find a secluded area.

2. Speak in your regular conversational tone and don't display anger during a public call. Speaking loudly or showing emotion may distract those around you.

3. Use your vibrate function or turn off your phone in public places such as movie theaters, religious services, restaurants, etc. Many wireless phones now have environmental settings that automatically adjust the phone and its features so you do not disrupt your surroundings.

4. If you are expecting a call that can't be postponed, alert your companions ahead of time and excuse yourself when the call comes in; the people you are with should take precedence over calls you want to make or receive.

5. Avoid interrupting meetings, social gatherings or personal conversations by answering your wireless phone or checking your voicemail. Discreetly excuse yourself if you must take the call.

6. Use discretion when discussing private matters or certain business topics in front of others. You never know who is within hearing range.

7. When walking and talking on your wireless phone, be aware of your surroundings and remember to respect the rights of others.

For additional tips and more information about cell phone etiquette, go to Sprint's website at http://www2.sprint.com/mr/consumertopic.do?topicId=260.

Jacqueline Recommends The Civility Solution

2008-06-24T15:10:00.009-04:00

Have you ever found yourself confronted with rudeness and didn’t know how to respond? If so, you’ll be interested in knowing that my friend P.M. Forni has just published a book that I think you will find extremely useful. From the intrusive cell-phone user who holds loud conversations in public to the hostile highway driver who cuts one off with a quick swerve of his car, politeness seems to be on a downward spiral, surprising us at every turn. Rudeness begets rudeness, and in Dr. Forni’s new book, The Civility Solution, you see what to do when confronted with bad behavior by being assertive as well as civil. In more than one hundred different solutions, we see how to break the rudeness cycle by responding to a variety of confrontations, from bullying to rude Internet behavior or the hurtful words of an insensitive family member.

Dr. Forni is an award-winning professor at Johns Hopkins University and his book, The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude, is in stores now. I recommend it highly! His previous book, Choosing Civility (2002) has sold more than a hundred thousand copies.

To order The Civility Solution, go to: http://www.amazon.com/Civility-Solution-What-When-People/dp/0312368496/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214334979&sr=8-1

How to Be a Great Roommate

2008-06-17T14:12:00.004-04:00

By: Jorie Scholnik, Guest Blogger

Summer sessions for incoming college freshman are about to begin and there are the usual nerves about getting adjusted to the campus, doing laundry on your own and meeting new friends. For many students, this may not be the first time you will be living away from home, but the first time you will have to endure living with a roommate. There are ways to make the merging of two different people and lifestyles go a little smoother. Here are a few tips to avoid being labeled, “The Roommate from Hell” years down the road:

Be aware of your roommate’s hours. If your roommate prefers to go to bed before you do or has to wake up for an early class every day, respect his/her schedule. Coming home while talking on your cell phone at 2am or screaming to your friends down the hall when your roommate needs to wake up in three hours won’t be appreciated.

Always ask before borrowing. Some people don’t like to share food, clothing, household appliances or office supplies. At the beginning of the semester, sit down together and discuss what you intend to share. Even if your roommate said it was okay to share something at the beginning of the semester, always ask just to be courteous.

Be mindful of your roommate’s study habits. Just because you can concentrate with your music and television on, a lot of people prefer to study in silence. A set of headphones is a great investment because your roommate can study in silence while you enjoy listening to music or television.

Keep shared areas clean. You don’t have your mom picking up after you any more so the way you keep your room is your decision. However, shared areas should always be kept clean out of respect for others. Don’t expect your roommate to pick up your clothes, clean your dishes or watch your food mold.

Avoid strong scents. A lot of people are sensitive to smells or have allergies so avoid strong perfumes or eating foods in the room with a potentially foul odor. It can be extremely uncomfortable to live in an area that irritates your sense of smell.

Be respectful of any religious or cultural differences. Everyone grows up in households with different religious and cultural views. Try to avoid passing judgment on your roommate’s different views or cultural upbringing as it might offend him/her.

Jorie Scholnik graduated with honors from the University of Florida in May 2008 with a B.S. in Public Relations and a B.S. in Psychology. In the Fall, she plans to continue her education at the University of Florida in the M.Ed./Ed.S. program in Mental Health and Marriage and Family Counseling. Over the past four years, she has had numerous roommate experiences in both dormitories and off-campus apartments. She has been interning seasonally at The Protocol School of Palm Beach since June 2006.

Mind Your Office Refrigerator Etiquette

2008-06-15T13:53:00.004-04:00

According to a survey by executive job site TheLadders.com, the worst office faux pas is someone eating someone else’s food from the communal refrigerator. Office workers are very protective of their lunch. If it’s not yours, then leave it alone. I once heard a story about a person who took someone’s salad out of the office refrigerator, ate half of it, and then put it back in the refrigerator for the owner to eat. What nerve!

I recommend that the office refrigerator be completely cleaned out every Friday. Yes, and I do mean everything must go! Otherwise, that week-old tuna fish sandwich will smell much worse than it did when the owner originally placed it in the refrigerator.

Furthermore, people don't like to see their lunch mashed, mangled, pushed around or treated disgracefully as a result of another worker's general lack of office refrigerator etiquette. Please be kind to your coworker's lunch when placing your own in the fridge. If the fridge is crowded, then instead of shoving aside everyone else's food, try putting some of your great organizational skills to use and gently rearrange some things. Chances are you'll find some room and everyone's lunch will still be able to share space in relative harmony.

Obama puts popularity in the "pound."

2008-06-06T17:42:00.004-04:00

There's some good news for all you "germ-a-phobes" who don't like to shake hands. It's called the hand pound or "pound" for short. And it has been endorsed by Barack Obama.

When Obama captured the Democratic nomination last Tuesday night, he did more than just hug and kiss his devoted wife, Michelle. He affectionately gave her the "pound," which I think is kind of cool. This handshake, also known as the fist bump, is formed when you clinch your fist and tap knuckles with another person. It is generally used when someone does something good. So go ahead and bump away! You can tell others that an etiquette expert told you it was politically correct!

Is Your Wardrobe Affecting Your Paycheck?

2008-05-27T11:28:00.004-04:00

Many young men and women will be graduating from high school and college in the coming weeks. That means many will be looking for their dream job. If you don't know how to dress for a job interview, it could sabotage your chances of getting your foot in the door.

Dressing the part also affects your bottom line. Research shows a connection between an effective appearance and a good staring salary. Researcher Judith Walters sent out a group of identical resumes to more than a thousand companies. Some of the resumes were accompanied by a "before makeover" photo of an applicant, others by an "after makeover" photo. Each company was asked to determine a starting salary. Starting salaries ranged eight to 20 percent higher as a result of upgrading a mediocre appearance to one that was polished and professional.

Here's my advice. Always ask if a department store has a personal shopper who can help you choose your professional wardrobe. Many times, it costs the customer nothing to get an expert's help, even if you don't buy anything.

Image on Wheels

2008-05-09T13:50:00.003-04:00

Would you be proud of your car or embarrassed if you had to give your boss a ride somewhere?

According to a recent survey by Shell, 64 percent of those who responded said that they would be proud of their car. Here are the results of the survey:
Proud 64%
I don't have a boss 9%
Don't know 12%
Embarrassed 15%

Furthermore, the kind of car you drive and the condition in which you keep it speaks volumes about your personality. For example, if your car is clean and in good condition, it says that you take good care of yourself and your belongings. If your car is beat up, littered with trash, and hasn't seen a car wash in years, you may be perceived as sloppy, lazy and untidy.

Dressing the Part

2008-04-21T19:16:00.003-04:00

If you haven't updated your look or your wardrobe in a decade, it's probably time for a makeover. To management, your outdated style could signify that you are an outdated thinker. Likewise, if you dress like Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan you could be sending the message that you are flighty, flirty, and irresponsible. If you want to move up the ladder of success,you have to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. You have to wear what management is wearing.

If you're a man, I recommend that you check out one of my favorite sites, www.askandyaboutclothes.com. This website, developed by Andy Gilchrist, is devoted to men's clothing, what to wear, how to wear it properly, and the history of why men wear what they do.

The Write Stuff Can Set You Apart

2008-04-15T14:03:00.005-04:00

While growing up, my mother always insisted that I write a thank-you note to every friend or relative who sent me a gift. Perhaps that's why I love to give and receive beautiful handwritten notes to this day. My idea of a great shopping trip always includes a visit to a stationery store since I love to splurge and buy beautiful stationery.

Since 1878, Dempsey & Carroll has provided fine stationery to political leaders, the social set, and Hollywood icons. The company's commitment to craft, exacting standards, meticulous attention to detail and warm customer service have distinguished its business for the truly discriminating. But you don't have to be rich and famous to afford this little luxury.

Since I travel so much, I like to send notes to friends while I'm on the road. This gold beveled card with a gold suitcase is one of my favorites. Send these when you want to leave a lasting impression and when a simple postcard just won't do. $55 for 10 cards and 10 tissue lined envelopes. To see Dempsey & Carroll's full line of stationery, visit their website at www.dempseyandcarroll.com or call 877/750-1878.

"Good in a Room" Helps you Put Your Best Foot Forward in a Sales Situation

2008-03-19T11:53:00.004-04:00

Have you ever tried to pitch an idea to your boss only to find that it was shot down before it was given a chance? Life is a series of sales situations in which many times you have to prove that your idea is as good, if not better, than someone else's. Sometimes it is what you say and how you say it that can make or break a deal or decision.

When the time comes to sell yourself, your product, or idea in a high-stakes situation, even the most experienced person can ruin a golden opportunity if they don't know how to make the right pitch. Even in a job interview, hiring decisions tend to look past differences in resume quality and focus on how the candidate performs in the room.

My friend Stephanie Palmer has just published a book that I think you will find extremely useful. Stephanie was MGM’s Director of Creative Affairs and her book, Good in a Room: How To Sell Yourself and Your Ideas and Win Over Any Audience, is in stores now. The book explains the pitching techniques used in the room by successful writers and directors and how you can apply them to sell spec scripts, set up TV shows, land directing assignments, and secure financing for independent films. I recommend it highly!

To read an excerpt or learn more, please visit http://www.goodinaroom.com.

Is Deleting Technology the Answer?

2008-03-05T16:45:00.002-05:00

In its most recent annual study, the Institute for Business Technology determined that the average U.S. professional spends 9.4 hours each week just managing email. And that doesn't count the time spent actually writing or answering them! It all adds up to $650 billion in lost productivity for American firms, according to one estimate.

Okay, I admit it. I am one of the few who doesn't own a Blackberry. It doesn't bother me not to have one however, a part of me would like to have what everybody else has... a status item sans the stress. When I travel, I take my laptop and my Sprint aircard so I have access to the Internet every place I go. However, I can't check email on the fly like everybody else. But, as strange as it may seem, I am content that I'm not "connected" 24/7.

I cherish my down time and I enjoy checking email at certain times of the day. And if someone really wants to reach me in an emergency they can always call me. Speaking of calling, have you noticed that your land line doesn't ring as much as it did four or five years ago? My land line seldom rings anymore. That tells me that more people rely on email to communicate.

So if you email me and I don't respond right away, it isn't because I don't care or think your message is unimportant. It's simply because I'm managing my time wisely.

Here are five ways to cut the time (and money) it costs to process email on your Blackberry or PC:

Think of messages in terms of monetary value; ignore anything worthless.
Create an email filing system that reflects the way you think.
Simply send fewer emails. You'll receive fewer emails.
Delete without reading any emails that cc you and two or more recipients.
Set regular times each day to respond to email and stick to them.

Source: Institute for Business Technology

Etiquette Tips to Make Your Valentine's Day Smooth and Sweet

2008-02-12T13:00:00.000-05:00

Valentine’s Day a magical time when love is in the air and romance is in full bloom. However, the taste of romance can turn sour when certain protocols of dating are breached. Your Valentine's Day can be a lot sweeter if you keep the following etiquette tips in mind.

Plan Ahead

Give as much notice as possible when making your restaurant reservation. Most restaurants are booked several weeks prior to the holidays. By booking early, you increase your chances of getting a good table with the best view. For maximum privacy, request a table that is not situated near the kitchen, the entrance, or the restrooms.

Be on time for your date. Tardiness does not reflect well on you. It tells your date that she is not important enough for you to make an effort to be punctual. A few minutes behind schedule is acceptable to most people but if you are running extremely late, show your respect by calling and apologizing.

Restaurant Etiquette

If you are paying for dinner, you are also responsible for choosing the restaurant. Consider your date’s interests and tastes when making your selection.

If you are the host, allow your date to select their menu choices before you make your own. If your budget permits expensive items, make suggestions to your date by saying, “The lobster is excellent.”

When your food arrives, eat at a moderate pace so that you can focus less on the food and more on your date. Never take or make a call on your cell phone or send a text message at the table. To make a good impression, give your date your full, undivided attention.

Who Pays?

The question of who pays for what on a date can be complicated. Traditionally, the man was expected to pay for everything but like many traditions the custom has changed and molded itself into the new society to allow for common sense. Today, the cost of a date is sometimes split or the woman may offer to pick up the tab. Just remember…the person who does the inviting is responsible for paying. Nothing ruins a great dinner faster than learning that your host has no intention of paying the bill.

The Art of Gift Giving

Pamper your date with a genuine compliment such as telling him how nice he looks. A compliment should be received graciously and not be dismissed by saying something like, “These pants are so old; I just haven’t had the opportunity to wear them until now.”

As a token of your love or friendship, present your date with a gift. The price of the gift will depend on how well you know each other and how long you’ve been dating. Flowers are a popular choice this time of year. Red roses are traditionally associated with romantic love. But flowers today have a much broader vocabulary and a favorite color or flower can express just the right sentiment. Many people prefer yellow, pink, peach and white roses. Unconventional colors such as lavender and orange roses are also becoming more popular. Men and women alike enjoy houseplants and orchids.

Other popular gifts include fine chocolates, a bottle of wine or champagne, scented candles, a cookie bouquet, or a decorative picture frame. Gift cards to the movies, Starbucks, an online bookstore or tickets to a musical or sporting event can also please a variety of people.

Show Your Gratitude

Thank your date as a means to show your gratitude. With a positive attitude, you can always find something nice to say, even if the evening proves to be less than perfect. If you had a nice time, call your date the next day or write a thank-you note as soon as possible.

Get a Routine Pap Test! Jacqueline Whitmore Stresses Importance of Regular Screenings During January – Cervical Health Awareness Month

2008-01-22T13:54:00.001-05:00

Approximately 10,000 American women will learn they have cervical cancer/HPV this year, and nearly 4,000 will die from an advanced form of the disease. January is Cervical Health Awareness Month and I am dedicated to educating women about the importance of the Pap test as a screening tool for cervical cancer/HPV and about vaccines that can further reduce the burden of this devastating disease.

In 2001, I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma in situ (the early stages of cervical cancer). That's why I feel it’s important to start the year right and make your health a priority. If you are a woman, I encourage you to contact your health care provider to schedule a Pap test to check for cervical cancer. This screening is a crucial part of a woman’s health care regimen, yet one that many overlook.

Sometimes we get too busy with our jobs and caring for other people that we oftentimes forget to care for ourselves. That was my case. I focused so much of my time and attention on my new business that I neglected to get my routine check-ups. I had no symptoms and did not feel sick so I didn’t feel the need to get my Pap test for four consecutive years! It wasn’t until I went to Canyon Ranch Health Resort in Tucson, Arizona for a speaking engagement that I met a nurse who encouraged me to get a check-up. In retrospect, I believe that she was an angel in disguise. If it weren’t for her advice, I might not have gotten tested that year and may not be alive today.

I am also grateful for my OBGYN, Dr. Laura Weston, for using the ThinPrep Pap test, which detected my adinocarcinoma insitu (the early stages of cervical cancer). I recently saw Dr. Weston for a check-up and had my picture taken with her.

Finally, don’t forget to ask your doctor for an HPV test if you are at least 30 years of age or over. Once you reach your 30th birthday, your risk of long-term HPV infection and cervical cancer becomes greater. At that time, you should begin getting the HPV test along with your Pap, no matter what your Pap result. Getting both tests together offers the most peace of mind.

I am happy to report that I am very healthy today. However, if you or someone you love is battling issues related to cervical cancer, there is a website that can help you. It is the National Cervical Cancer Coalition’s website: www.nccc-online.org. The NCCC is the only organization dedicated exclusively to helping women address concerns about cervical health and disease.

Mind Your Mistletoe Manners

2007-12-26T20:42:00.000-05:00

Mistletoe makes people pucker up, but there are times when it's best to mind your mistletoe manners. During the month of December, I am partnering with skin care company CLARISONIC (www.clarisonic.com) as their holiday etiquette expert. Together we have developed the Clarisonic Mistletoe Manifesto, which includes important lip-locking laws to follow if you find yourself beneath the mistletoe. Our promotional efforts include radio and television interviews including the one I did on FOX News on December 23. To view the video, click here.

Here are a simple set of tips to consider before getting near those innocent looking sprigs dangling in the foyer…

The office holiday party:

In general, kissing someone from work in public is ill-advised. Far too often, office holiday parties end in infamy for workers who let the egg nog take over. Try to keep your head on straight when you find yourself under the mistletoe with a co-worker.

If you are a woman caught under the mistletoe with your male coworker, take control and initiate the ever-so-safe "air kiss." While shaking this person's right hand, lean in close and gingerly touch his cheek with your Clarisonic smooth cheek while making a soft smacking sound. You've now fulfilled the mistletoe mandate without starting any office rumors.

Men: consider offering a female co-worker the "hand kiss", indicating respect. Don't linger under the mistletoe any longer than necessary in order to avoid any further awkwardness.

Sharing a moment with your lover, spouse or partner:

When you find yourself under the mistletoe with your significant other, the "full lip lock kiss" is perfectly acceptable. According to folklore, a couple's kiss under the mistletoe is interpreted as a promise to marry and a prediction of happiness and long life.

Encountering a relative under the mistletoe:

Bumping into a relative under the mistletoe can cause holiday etiquette confusion! Granted, you don't want to kiss your creepy cousin on the lips, so your best bet is to give a gentle "cheek kiss," symbolizing goodwill without being too mushy.

Personal space tip: Keep your hands on your relative's shoulders - thus creating a comfortable distance. If you find yourself under the mistletoe with a small child, opt for the motherly "forehead kiss."

Just friends:

The standard "cheek kiss" is most appropriate when standing under the mistletoe with a friend. However, if you're feeling extra festive, consider the "corner to corner kiss" allowing the corner of your lips to just barely touch the corner of your friend's lips. You may also choose to incorporate a light hug into the equation. But kissers beware, go too far and you'll send mixed messages.

When you find yourself faced with a person who clearly wants to be more than just friends, be prepared to deflect the attempted 'full lip lock kiss.' Politely turn your face and offer the other cheek. Then offer to get your friend some hors d'oeuvres.

Meeting the neighbors:

Neighborhood parties often bring people together the most unlikely people. If you find that you and your neighbor are standing under the mistletoe, make the best of the situation. You can never go wrong with the old-fashioned handshake.

Handshaking tip: Always carry your drink in your left hand so your right hand is free for handshaking.

Meeting a stranger:

You could encounter that most awkward of mistletoe situations at a crowded party: the stranger. If you're uncomfortable kissing a stranger, employ the obvious strategy by pretending you don't notice the mistletoe and move away - after all, ignorance is bliss.

Alternatively, don your best blushing face, point out that you're both standing under the mistletoe and say something flattering, like "Well, I just can't resist." In this situation, the "air kiss" is a perfect choice.

In most situations, remember this no-fail strategy:

Give the impression that you are cultured and refined and go for the European "two-cheek air kiss" -- it's a winner under the mistletoe, or anytime!

View the full manifesto at www.clarisonic.com. Additionally see very telling body language photos that tell an awful lot as to what is happening under the mistletoe.

Regifting Etiquette - The Etiquette of Recycling Horrible Holiday Gifts

2007-12-15T20:35:00.000-05:00

If you've ever participated in a holiday gift exchange, you know that you're likely to receive a gift you don't want and will never use. Though the idea of regifting seems cheap or even taboo to some folks, most have come to accept it. According to a Harris poll, 52 percent of adults said that they either had regifted or would regift in the future. Seventy-eight percent said regifting is acceptable some or most of the time. Is it appropriate to re-wrap an unwanted gift and present it to a friend or relative as if it were new? The answer is "yes," as long as you keep these rules in mind.

1. Make sure the gift is in good condition. Give the gift in its original box. Be sure not to tamper with, open or use the gift and make sure the seals are intact.

2. Regift in different social circles. Make sure the person receiving the gift doesn't know the person who originally gave you the gift. To avoid this mishap, label any gifts you don't intent to keep by jotting down when it was received and who gave it to you.

3. The gift should be a good match. Before giving a recycled gift, ask yourself if the receiver will enjoy, appreciate and use the gift. If you're not sure, don't give it to them.

4. Remove the evidence. Before you regift, remove the original card that may be tucked inside the gift.

5. Retire unwanted gifts. Instead of regifting items that you'll never use like that old bottle of cologne, canned ham, stale fruitcake, or itchy sweater, give the gift to charity or place it in the waste basket so you and others will never have to see it again.

Etiquette Expert Heads to Germany for the Holidays

2007-11-29T16:13:00.000-05:00

Next week, I will embark on a much-needed vacation to visit my sister, Nancy, who is living in Germany and is training for the 2008 Summer Olympics. She is being trained by the highly-acclaimed equestrian, Hubertus Schmidt. Nancy competes in the beautiful sport of dressage. To learn more about her training regime, visit her blog at http://equisentialinc.blogspot.com.

Before I go, I am doing some research about German customs -- one of them being the art of tipping. I came across an interesting website that might be worth checking out:
http://www.airlinecreditcards.com/travelhacker/the-world-travelers-guide-to-tipping-50-tipping-customs-for-25-vacations/.

For anyone traveling internationally, I recommend Culture Grams, www.culturegrams.com. These concise, reliable and up-to-date reports contain important information on more than 200 countries. I purchased the World Edition to keep in my library. Each report includes the country's history, customs, and lifestyles of the locals. I am also reading Roger Axtell's new book, Essential Dos and Taboos: The Complete Guide to International Business and Leisure Travel, (Wiley, Sept. 2007).

The climate in Germany should be very frigid compared to the hot, humid weather we are having in Florida. So, I am dusting off my winter coat, gloves, and hat as I look forward to enjoying my German holiday!

Trim your belly, butt and thighs for the holidays!

2007-11-12T21:45:00.000-05:00

Anyone who has attended one of my "Suit Up for Success" programs knows that I am a big fan of Spanx products. When I talk about the importance of the proper undergarments, I mention how much I love Spanx footless pantyhose and Spanx Power Panties, $25, at Spanx.com. Oprah and other celebs love Spanx too. In fact, Anne Hathaway wore the Power Panties on the set of The Devil Wears Prada to instantly drop a dress size.

In my opinion, anything that is comfortable AND makes a woman look one dress size smaller is a must! Besides, visible panty lines are out. I wear my Spanx to every speaking engagement and at times, I've been known to pull up my pants leg and show my female audiences a hint of my footless pantyhose!

I'm only telling you this because the holidays are right around the corner. If you want to look smoother and slimmer in your cocktail and evening dresses, consider Spanx!

U.S. Etiquette Is Introduced to Russian Executives: Jacqueline Whitmore's book can now be purchased in Russia

2007-10-24T12:41:00.000-04:00

Russian executives can now learn more about U.S. business manners. I am pleased to announce that my book, "Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work," was recently published in Russian! I received my copy of the book and I must admit however that I can't read a word of it. I do know it is mine because it contains my picture in the back. Other countries that are publishing my book include China and Thailand. If you're interested in purchasing the Russian version, email me and I will provide you with the name of the Russian publishing company. Many thanks to my literary agent, Rita Rosenkranz, for making this happen.

Pay It Forward with Mini Thank You Notes

2007-10-15T11:48:00.000-04:00

Want to make someone's day a little bit brighter? Now you can. I stumbled across this adorable product as I was reading a magazine recently. In an effort to start a campaign against rudeness and incivility, stationery store Greer Chicago is starting what they call a "civil-ution." In their latest effort, they've created these original and fashionable portable thank you notes. I believe this is the perfect way to acknowledge someone who is not expecting anything but has done something extra nice for you, whether they be a friend, colleague, client, or stranger.

Each card is meant to be recycled and to perpetuate something larger. On the back of each card are the words, "please reuse," so paying it forward becomes part 0f the deal. Printed on heavy white 100 percent cotton paper encased in a sturdy yet elegant yummy chocolate- colored package embossed in silver. Each package of 10 is $6.25. To order, go to www.greerchicago.com.

Jacqueline Whitmore Speaks Out About Cervical Cancer

2007-09-28T11:48:00.000-04:00

I am back from Washington, DC and feeling energized! I just spent an amazing weekend at the National Cervical Cancer Coalition's Conference attended by 85 powerful, motivated and dynamic women who gathered together for one cause...to help fight cervical cancer. As a cervical cancer survivor, I was invited to be a keynote speaker and to share my personal story and to discuss ways in which we can increase cervical health awareness in our communities.

I was joined by an impressive line-up of other speakers including Christine Baze (www.popsmear.org), Tamika Felder (tamikaandfriends.org), Juan Felix, M.D., Cornelia Trimble, M.D., Beverly Kirkhart (www.beverlykirkhart.com), and Heidi Bauer, MD, MS, MPH .

During the conference, the following was discussed:

Cervical cancer is the second most common cancer in women and it is caused by a virus called Human Papillomavirus (HPV).
HPV is a ubiquitous virus and almost everyone (men and women) is infected with one or more types in their lifetime.
Many people have no symptoms and are not even aware that they are infected with HPV.
The body's immune system usually eliminates HPV infection on its own.
HPV can reoccur and high risk HPV causes cancer.
There are 400,000 new cases diagnosed annually and 200,000 deaths/year worldwide.
Highest incidences of cervical cancer are found in Africa, South America, and India.

Cervical cancer is not a death sentence and can be treated if detected in the early stages. To lower your chances of getting cervical cancer, women should get an annual Pap test and ask for an HPV test. There is a new vaccine on the market called Gardasil that has been approved by the FDA to prevent cervical cancer in females. **I am a proponent for getting young girls vaccinated before they become sexually active. This would greatly reduce the amount of cervical cancer cases.

I am grateful for being invited to speak at the conference because I met many wonderful new friends who share in my enthusiasm to spread the word about HPV prevention, detection and treatment!

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The Cervical Cancer Quilt Project, managed by the National Cervical Cancer Coalition, is a key component of the NCCC public education initiative to raise awareness about cervical cancer. The quilts are composed of squares made by, or in memory of, women who have battled cervical cancer and precancerous lesions. Like the famous AIDS and ovarian cancer quilts, they are magnificent works of art. They give a human face to cervical cancer, create a compelling sense of urgency about this terrible disease, and serve as a dramatic way of expanding awareness about cervical cancer and the importance of early detection. They also reach women, their family members and caregivers in an affirmative way - allowing a cancer message to be absorbed in a comforting environment.

To learn more about HPV and cervical cancer, visit the NCCC's website at www.nccc-online.org.

Jacqueline Whitmore to Speak at the National Cervical Cancer Coalition Conference in Washington, DC on Sept. 14-15

2007-09-09T18:26:00.000-04:00

In 2001 I was diagnosed with the early stages of cervical cancer. The devastating news came as a shock since I had never had an irregular pap smear or any physical symptoms. In retrospect, I was so busy working on my new business that I neglected to get regular check-ups for four consecutive years. What a mistake! When I did decide to get a check-up, that’s when my test results came back positive. If I had prolonged my appointment another year, who knows if I would even be alive today to tell my story.

It’s true that when you hear the word, “cancer,” your heart sinks and you go into a state of shock and disbelief. After my initial shock wore off, I got busy doing a tremendous amount of research. I found an amazing oncologist at the H. Lee Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, had surgery, and am proud to be cancer-free! I was one of the lucky ones who caught it early. I wish I had known then what I know now about the human papilloma virus, also known as HPV. I had never even heard of it until my doctor in Tampa told me about it.

Today, there is a new vaccine that is highly effective in preventing many kinds of cervical cancer and is available to girls, beginning at nine years of age. I highly recommend it.

About a year ago, I discovered the National Cervical Cancer Coalition, a grassroots, non-profit organization. I am now one of their spokespersons. This week, (Sept. 14-15), I will have the privilege of speaking at the NCCC National Convention in Washington, DC to 85 women who either have, or have had, cervical cancer. During my talk, I will share my personal story and encourage these women to go back to their community and spread the word about how to prevent, detect, and treat this deadly disease that kills more than 273,500 women every year worldwide.

Please take a moment to peruse the NCCC’s website (www.nccc-online.org) which offers a wonderful phone pal and email pal program. This program provides a support system for cervical cancer survivors and patients. Or if you have cervical cancer, please don’t hesitate to email me. I would be happy to share my story with you and offer my support!

Southwest Airlines Overeacts To Scantily-Clad Woman's Appearance

2007-09-08T16:50:00.000-04:00

It's Fashion Week in New York City which reminds me that everyone has their own definition of fashion. You may have read about Kyla Ebbert, the 23-year-old, scantily-clad woman who boarded a Southwest Airlines flight from San Diego to Tucson recently. Ebbert was confronted by a flight attendant and asked to leave the flight because the flight crew felt that her attire was too revealing. When she convinced them that she would adjust her outfit to meet their requirements, she was allowed to remain onboard.

The flight attendant told Ms. Ebbert that she was in violation of SWA's dress code. Ms. Ebbert later found out that no such dress code policy existed. I believe that if SWA did have a dress code policy in place, they would have had the authority do determine whether Ms. Ebbert's outfit was inappropriate. However, no such policy exists therefore I believe that Ms. Ebbert's rights were violated.

I have been flying on airplanes for many years. I am even a former flight attendant and have seen my share of poorly dressed and poorly behaved passengers. I'm sure you have too. Sure, I would not have worn what Ms. Ebbert wore, but I'm not a 23-year-old coed either!

Furthermore, she was not traveling for business. She said she was on her way to a doctor's appointment. If Paris Hilton walked on that airline wearing the same outfit, no one would have said anything except, "May I offer you a beverage, Ms. Hilton?" But of course, Paris most likely has her own private plane and doesn't need to worry about what others think.

Yes, the days of dressing up while traveling the friendly skies are long gone. I'm personally disappointed about that. Everyone's definition of style and taste varies tremendously, depending on a person's age and where they live. In warmer climates, people wear less clothing. Perhaps the outfits at Fashion Week in New York City will give some indication of what's to come in the near future. When I think about that, I'm not sure that is a good thing!

Jacqueline Whitmore Gets Up Close and Personal with Joe Vitale

2007-07-19T12:02:00.000-04:00

Hey! Look who I ran into at the NSA Convention in San Diego last week! This is Dr. Joe Vitale, one of the stars in the hit movie, The Secret. He is also known for his #1 bestseller book, The Attractor Factor.

A few years ago, I interviewed Dr. Vitale for my book, Business Class, and he gave some wonderful advice on first impressions (see page 30 in my book).

His new book, Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace and More, recently made its debut and is quickly climbing the bestseller charts. In this book, Dr. Vitale has teamed up with Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, master teacher of modern Ho'oponopono, to show you how to attain wealth, health, peace, and happiness. Dr. Vitale and Dr. Len walk you through the system, helping you clear your mind of subconscious blocks so that destiny and desire can take over and help you get what you truly want from life. It clears out unconsciously accepted beliefs, thoughts, and memories that you don't even know are holding you back. I highly recommend it!

To order Zero Limits, go to: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0470101474/bookstorenow16-20

More buzz about Cellphone Courtesy Month

2007-07-02T11:46:00.000-04:00

It's great to see so much interest in National Cellphone Courtesy Month. Helen Schwab of The Charlotte Observer wrote a great article about it on June 29, 2007. To view her article entitled, "Courtesy call: 13 etiquette tips for cellphone users," go to http://www.charlotte.com/entertainment/story/178317.html.

Also, I'll be talking to The Radio Ritas (Maureen Langan and Diane Dimond) on Friday, July 6 at 8:30am EST about cellphone etiquette. To learn more about their syndicated talk show, go to http://www.greenstonemedia.com/radioritas.php. Hope you can tune in!

July is National Cellphone Courtesy Month

2007-06-28T12:19:00.000-04:00

I am accustomed to getting calls from CEOs who want to polish their social and business skills while learning how to outclass the competition. In July, I am dedicated to tackling a more monumental threat to civility. I am dispensing advice on how to talk on a wireless phone without annoying others.

July is National Cellphone Courtesy Month – an event I founded in 2002 with the intent to encourage the increasingly unmindful corps of cellphone users to be more respectful of their surroundings by using some simple cellphone etiquette principles.

Wireless phones and other electronic devices have become so important to keeping people in touch with information they want and need. It’s important to educate people about the proper way to use these devices so that they’re still in touch but not annoying those around them. Since founding National Cell Phone Courtesy Month, I have partnered with Sprint to help educate the public about the importance of wireless phone etiquette.

Wireless phone users can take these seven steps to avoid offending others:

1. Be all there. When you’re in a meeting, performance, courtroom or other busy area, let calls go to voicemail to avoid a disruption. In some instances, turning your phone off may be the best solution.

2. Keep it private. Be aware of your surroundings and avoid discussing private or confidential information in public. You never know who may be in hearing range.

3. Keep your cool. Don’t display anger during a public call. Conversations that are likely to be emotional should be held where they will not embarrass or intrude on others.

4. Learn to vibe. Use your wireless phone's silent or vibration settings in public places such as business meetings, religious services, schools, restaurants, theaters or sporting events so that you do not disrupt your surroundings.

5. Avoid “cell yell.” Remember to use your regular conversational tone when speaking on your wireless phone. People tend to speak more loudly than normal and often don't recognize how distracting they can be to others.

6. Excuse yourself. If you are expecting a call that can’t be postponed, alert your companions ahead of time and excuse yourself when the call comes in; the people you are with should take precedence over calls you want to make or receive.

7. Send a message. Use Text Messaging to send and receive messages without saying a single word.

Jacqueline's Favorite Business Accessory

2007-06-24T22:32:00.001-04:00

If you're a businesswoman and you're in the market for a luxurious, yet professional computer case, I recommend this one from Franklin Covey. Ironically, it's called the "Jacqueline Wheeled Business Case!" I have one in red leather and it goes with me on all my business trips. Right now, Franklin Covey is having a great sale and you can get this case for $50 off, plus free shipping! To order the case, go to: http://tinyurl.com/3drlax.

Winter Haven Chamber Participants Get Lessons in Business Etiquette

2007-06-23T13:42:00.000-04:00

There is something wonderful about speaking to a group of business women. The Winter Haven Chamber of Commerce hosted a women's business luncheon on Thursday, June 21 and asked me to be their guest speaker. It was an honor to go back to the town where I grew up and present a business etiquette seminar to a sold-out crowd of 80 dynamic women. I met a lot of new friends and I got reacquainted with friends I had not seen since I graduated from high school! The best part about it was that my mom was able to attend with me. The event was generously sponsored by Macy's, Allen & Company, and Old Cypress Community Bank.
(pictured here is Donna Sheehan purchasing a copy of Jacqueline's book, Business Class.)

Help Fido Brush Up on his Dog Manners

2007-06-03T14:26:00.000-04:00

I recently attended Book Expo America in New York City where I had the opportunity to meet Charlotte Reed, the author of “The Miss Fido Manners Complete Book of Dog Etiquette: The Definitive Guide to Manners for Pets and Their People." In Charlotte’s new book, she discusses how to become a model pet owner, a good neighbor, an excellent customer and a welcome guest at the homes of friends and family. The book also features acceptable behavior for different occasions in a dog’s life such as treating veterinarians, pet sitters, and dog groomers with respect. If you want to become a model pet owner or just love your dog, you can buy Charlotte’s book at your local book store or at www.amazon.com. To learn more about Charlotte, go to www.missfidomanners.com. (Jacqueline is pictured here with Charlotte Reed and her dog, Thames.)

Need advice? When you can't ask an etiquette expert, ask a "Cyber Granny!"

2007-05-15T13:33:00.000-04:00

I was flipping through a magazine recently and was surprised to read about a terrific non-profit organization comprised of a group of senior volunteers who give advice at no charge. Let's face it...sometimes we all need a little advice from someone older and wiser. And if your grandparents aren't around (and even if they are), you can still get advice from someone who has been around the block and back at www.elderwisdomcircle.org. Type in a question and you'll be matched with a volunteer cyber-grandparent, who will get back to you within a few days with some sage advice! What a great concept!!

Present Pressure: Giving Your Boss a Gift without the Grief

2007-05-10T13:13:00.000-04:00

It’s tough enough finding the right birthday gift for your family and friends. But what do you do when the boss is turning the big "5-0" and everyone in the office wants to buy her a present? Buying the boss a gift can be fraught with pitfalls and peer pressure if you don’t know the proper protocol.

In a recent survey conducted by WorkPlace Media, 57 percent of working Americans plan to buy their boss a birthday present this year, with nearly one-fourth of those workers planning to spend $50 or more. The majority of these employees will spend less than $50, but 3 percent are planning on spending over $100.

I want to offer the following gift giving tips to help take the pressure off so you can be sure to give the right gift in the right way.

If you’re short on cash, join with other coworkers to buy your boss a gift. Throughout the year, keep track of his or her likes, dislikes, interests, and hobbies. Tailor your gift to the taste and personality of your boss.
If you work in a small office or know your boss well, it’s acceptable to give a smaller but personal gift on your own, like a gift card, book or CD.
Beware of humorous or gag gifts. What you might think is cute or funny may be offensive or insulting to your boss and could quickly tarnish or even sabotage your business relationship.
Buy a gift for his/her family or pet instead. If your boss has everything, it may be difficult to think of something original. However, a present for his or her children or pets may be more appreciated.
Buy a birthday card. Although you’re not obligated to give a gift, a nice, personalized birthday card will speak volumes and will show that you care.

Are Your Manners Fit for a Queen?

2007-04-29T16:53:00.000-04:00

Royalty and etiquette seem to go hand in hand, but would you know what to say or how to act if you were one of the fortunate ones to meet, greet, or dine with the Queen during her visit to the United States during the week of May 3-8? In the event you need a crash course in royal etiquette, I have done a little research and have compiled these seven quick tips to help you be more poised and polished.

When the Queen enters a room, everyone stands.
When first meeting the Queen, she should be addressed as "Your Majesty" and then "Ma'am" thereafter. When departing, address her as "Your Majesty" again.
By rank, the Duke of Edinburgh is lower than the Queen; thus he is addressed as "Your Royal Highness" (NOT Your Majesty, aka King). After first introductions, he should be addressed as "Sir" and when departing, addressed as "Your Royal Highness" again.
Whoever hosts the Queen is expected to walk beside the Royals and make introductions as required.
At least in Britain, when the Queen stops eating, you stop as well.
In general, there are no obligatory codes of behavior, especially in the U.S. -- as we do not recognize the Queen as our Head of Nation.
Bowing is not required of U.S. citizens but shaking hands is acceptable. When shaking hands, wait until the Queen extends her hand first before extending yours. In Great Britain and the Commonwealth states, men bow and women curtsy. Men bow their head only, dropping it from the neck. Women perform a small curtsy, placing the right foot behind the left heel and then slightly bending the knees.

Conversation Starters
If you are seated next to the Queen during dinner, be prepared to be a charming conversationalist. Here are my top five “safe” and effective suggested topics of conversation:

The Queen is a keen photographer and enjoys taking photographs of her family.
The Queen has owned more than 30 corgis during her reign. She currently has five of them.
As well as corgis and dorgis (dachshund/corgi hybrid), the Queen also breeds and trains Labradors and Cocker Spaniels at Sandringham.
The Queen takes a keen interest in horses and racing and continues to ride at Sandringham, Balmoral and Windsor.
The Queen also takes a keen interest in horse breeding. She has about 25 horses in training each season.

Imus Gets the Ax for Hurtful Words

2007-04-17T11:46:00.000-04:00

Usually when we think about harming someone, visions of violence of some kind come to mind. However, much of the greatest damage we do to each other is through hurtful words. What makes matters worse is when the words are directed at innocent people.

In light of the recent Don Imus scandal, I feel that I have to share my opinion. Frankly, I think for years many of Mr. Imus’ thoughtless comments went unnoticed until recently when he uttered hurtful remarks about the Rutgers women’s basketball team. That’s when our nation began to take notice.

Just because you are a “popular” radio personality doesn’t give you the right to call other people names like you did back in grade school. After all, adults are supposed to know better, aren’t we?? Although I believe in the First Amendment, drastic measures have to take effect when the bread and butter begins to disappear. Wasn’t it ironic that when the advertisers started to cancel their ads that the execs at CBS Radio and MSNBC started to panic? I often wonder if Mr. Imus would have gotten just a slap on the wrist instead of being fired if the advertisers didn’t cancel their agreements.

Nevertheless, I’m hopeful that Mr. Imus and others will have learned a valuable lesson from his mindless mistake. As Cher sings in one of her songs, “Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes.” Let the healing begin!

FAU Students Get a Lesson in Dining Etiquette

2007-04-17T11:03:00.000-04:00

One of the most enjoyable parts of my job involves teaching college students. I have the privilege of teaching at most of the universities in South Florida. Of those universities, Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton is one of my long-time clients.

Each spring and fall, I spend a few hours with the students to help prepare them for the job interviewing process. Since many of them will be interviewed over lunch or dinner with a prospective employer, they especially appreciate a class in the art of fine dining.

My most recent class at FAU took place on February 26, 2007. To read more about the class in the Sun Sentinel, click on the link above. After every dinner, I stay awhile to answer questions and take pictures with the students. Pictured here are a few of the stellar students who attended the tutorial dinner. Aren't they a handsome group? (L to R: Kym Mitala, Anne Martelly, Jacqueline Whitmore and Geno Roefaro).

Positive customer service pays off

2007-01-05T10:44:00.000-05:00

According to a survey of more than 8,600 consumers, 85 percent said they spend and shop more at retailers that provide good service, and 82 percent said they are likely to recommend those retailers to their families and friends. This survey by BIGresearch for the National Retail Federation and American Express shows that consumers want employees who are courteous, able to answer their questions and have empathy for their problems.
On the flip side, unhappy customers spread the word to anyone who is willing to listen about their bad experience. Now, with the Internet being so popular, people can even complain to several strangers. The most common complaints are rude and unknowledgeable employees, salesclerks who offer too much contact by constantly asking if the customer needs help, or workers who try to talk consumers into buying something they may not want.

iVillage Live

2006-12-20T12:16:00.000-05:00

I appeared on iVillage Live on Dec. 11, 2006 to talk about tipping etiquette. In this picture, I am with the three hosts, from left, Sissy Schaefer, Molly Pesce and Naamua Delaney. To learn more about the program, visit www.iVillageLive.com. Watch it on select NBC stations on online at 12 p.m. EST, or on Bravo.

A Survey on Proper Behavior

2006-12-20T11:24:00.000-05:00

Manners Matter! Yea? Nay! In the survey, conducted on behalf of The Wall Street Journal by GfK Custom Research Worldwide, 20,326 people in 20 countries were interviewed in September and October. Results were posted on Dec. 15, 2006 in the Wall Street Journal International Edition.

My own country has the best manners, said:
46% of Turkey
39% of Belgium
38% of Switzerland
34% of Austria
24% of Denmark

My own country has the worst manners, said:
29% of Romania
27% of Russia
26% of the U.S.
25% of the U.K.
21% of Greece, Italy, Bulgaria

Overall, who has the best manners?
16% said the U.K.
13% said Germany, France
12% said Japan
11% said the U.S.
6% said Italy

Overall, who has the worst manners?
20% said the U.S.
10% said Russia
8% said France
6% said the U.K., Germany
5% said Turkey

Gift Ideas

2006-12-20T11:15:00.000-05:00

Here are some must-have gift ideas (that are inexpensive!) for the holiday season:

Put your child's photo, college mascot, or company logo on real U.S. postage (Jacqueline puts her company logo on these stamps.)
http://photo.stamps.com

Hand-decorated cookie bouquets are a "tasteful" way to show your appreciation. http://www.cookiesbydesign.com

Personalize holiday ornaments for colleagues and clients. http://www.santaspen.net

Incivility Can Cause Stress at Work

2006-08-03T21:06:00.000-04:00

A recent online survey (by www.truejobs.com, a job-search Web site) found that co-workers' annoying habits are the No. 1 source of stress in the workplace. Nearly 60 percent of the 2,200 respondents said that such habits have negatively affected their work relationships, and 40 percent said they have led them to seek a different job. The top complaint...talking too loudly on the phone, followed by constant whining about work.

Do you work with an annoying co-worker? If so, what is the worst habit you have witnessed at work? E-mail me with your stories.

Jacqueline's Favorite Cell Phone Etiquette Horror Stories

2006-07-31T15:22:00.000-04:00

My 8 yr. old son Steven had a playdate and sleepover last night. In the morning when his mom came to pick her son up I was anxious to tell her about the night pool party and movie and all the fun the boys had together. When I answered the door she was on her cell phone and she remained talking to the other person--virtually ignoring me. She then tried to carry on 2 conversations -- Did they have fun? And when I answered she would tell the other person. I had no idea who she was talking to. She never even thanked me. I showed her son into the car and quietly walked back into my house--so I didn't interrupt her phone conversation. I felt neglected and unappreciated. I understand we are all busy and trying to multi task but we are losing our sanity and quality of relationships in the meanwhile! Busy Momagers (TM) need cell phone etiquette too -- children are learning from their parents behavior.

Christine Martinello, Dayton, Ohio
www.momager.com
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I was attending the funeral of a dear friend. As beautiful, though somber and emotional, piano music was being played someone's cell phone began ringing in a loud tone- it was one of those awful clips from a popular song. It seems that the owner was too embarrassed to turn the phone off because the ringing was ignored. The standing-room-only congregation listened to that interruption for the entire ring cycle!

Best wishes with your article. Please let me know if you find my stories helpful.

Debra Armstrong, Granbury, Texas 76049
www.mannersreallymatter.com

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I attend a college class from 5:45pm until 10pm and one night the professor was going over two chapter's worth of power point slides (which was very time consuming). It was 9:15pm and we were all running out of steam and still had a lot to go through when his cell phone rang. He answered the phone and spoke for 10 minutes while we all had to wait for him to finish his conversation. This delayed class and ironically his policy is that every time a phone goes off in his class, we all get five questions added to the test. Talk about bad cell phone etiquette!

Jorie Scholnik, Boca Raton, Florida
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My fiancée and I were attending a concert and during the course of the evening a woman directly behind us received a phone call during the concert and continued her conversation without exiting. Keep in mind she was only a few seats from the aisle (and a door). I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt since it was the opening act, but good grief! I contemplated kindly explaining to her that I was pretty sure her name was not on the marquee and therefore I had not paid to listen to her conversation. Thankfully, she ceased the activity and confrontation was avoided.

That same evening, a man seated next to me was sending email on his Treo Smartphone. Not once. Not twice. Over the course of at least two-thirds of the program. This may not seem like a 'cell phone' problem since I'm not listening to him carry on a conversation. However, the screen on the Treo is extremely bright and, in a darkened auditorium, was quite an annoyance in my peripheral vision. Again, I wouldn't have minded if it was once or twice, but it was a continual distraction and I was relieved when he finally left the concert in which he obviously had no interest.

Matt Hawkins, The Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission

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Several years ago, when cell phone users were still a minority, I was in the ladies room at a movie theater when someone entered the stall next to mine. She answered her phone and proceeded to tell the caller details, including the ending of the movie she'd seen -- which happened to be the movie I was about to see!

Betsy Haber
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I was attending an employer-sponsored meeting involving a State representative for the workers’ compensation program. The employee facilitating the meeting had been speaking for about two minutes when his cell phone rang. In a group of about 30 people, with a guest speaker present, the guy answers his cell phone! Who knew – maybe it was an emergency, right? No! It was a non-emergency personal call! He stood there in front of everyone and had a conversation with his wife or his kid – who cares?

Malena Doty, Texas
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A few years ago while sitting in church, as the pastor was speaking someone's cell phone began to ring. After about the third ring, several people began looking around trying to determine where the ringing was coming from. And oh boy, was it ever loud? The pastor kept right on speaking as if everything was fine. Obviously this person did not subscribe to voicemail because it kept ringing and ringing.

Finally, a petite, innocent, sweet elderly lady, who was sitting in my row reached under her seat where she had placed her bag and discovered it was her phone ringing. It actually startled her! She did not recognize the ring because her granddaughter had just purchased it for her and that was the first time it rang. She wasn't sure how to answer it and by this time she was holding it as it continued to ring. I showed her how to answer it and she proceeded to carry on a conversation. I politely guided her outside to the hallway where she continued her conversation. I stayed with her and showed her how to place it on the silent mode before returning back inside. She was excited she had a cell phone but wasn't sure how to handle it. Hopefully, the quick tutorial I gave helped her.

At the close of the service, the pastor jokingly said, "I don't know who answered their phone during service but I hope it was a call from God." The congregation laughed hysterically, and when others found out what happened, they were quite forgiving.

Donna Riley
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I was heading home from a day in the city (Chicago) on the train when a gentleman boarded. He proceeded to carry on not one, but TWO cell phone conversations on his two separate cell phones very loudly. As if that weren’t bad enough, he put both callers on hold, pulled an electric razor out of his coat pocket and proceeded to shave while on the train. He finished shaving, picked up his phones and resumed his conversations for the entire ride to his stop.

Lisa Trosien

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I was in the first-class car of an Amtrak train from NY to DC. Sitting behind me and talking on the cellphone was the lawyer for one of the baseball players involved in the steroid scandal during the heat of the scandal. At one point, there was a three-way phone call with the baseball player, the player's publicist and this lawyer to craft the baseball player's statement to the press.

That time, what I fantasized about doing was kneeling on my seat, peering over the seatback, facing him, talking on the cellphone as if I were talking to the New York Times or some other media outlet and saying, "I'm on Amtrak and [player x]'s lawyer is sitting here and they're writing his statement and here are some of the things that they took out of the statement... let me see... I took notes of the whole thing."

I know this lawyer would have gone ballistic. You want a lawyer who blabs your business in a public place?

Patricia Luebke
New York, New York

Job-Hunting Etiquette Tip

2006-06-26T21:07:00.000-04:00

The saying goes, "Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have." I believe that if you dress to impress, you could increase your chances of getting a great job. Some job seekers are taking the interview process a little too casually. Denise Bober, director of human resources at The Breakers, a luxury hotel in Palm Beach, says many applicants show up for their interviews in shorts and flip-flops.

Then there was the young man who applied for a job at the world-famous hotel. The position: Poolside bungalow attendant. His attire: A business suit. Bober offered him the job!

"Oliver" -- The Well-Mannered Dog

2006-06-22T22:27:00.000-04:00

I want you to meet "Oliver" -- the well-mannered dog. He is my 2 1/2 year old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. He comes to work with me every day and usually sleeps under my desk. He is the best alarm clock in the world because he tells me when it's time to shut off my computer and go home (precisely at 6pm). When he is not "working," he enjoys chasing lizards, taking walks, eating anything that resembles food, and taking long naps.

The Phone Booth is Back -- Minus the Phone

2006-06-20T20:20:00.000-04:00

Superman may be the only person who visits a phone booth anymore. That's until he discovers the cell phone booth! Cell Phone booths are the latest craze. I am in favor of these trendy enclaves of privacy. They're especially handy at nightclubs where you can barely hear your friends over the thunderous music. USA Today ran a story about cell phone booths on Jun 18. To read it, go to http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/techinnovations/2006-06-18-cellphone-booths_x.htm

Welcome to the world of etiquette

2006-04-29T13:16:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone. I don't consider myself highly technical but I do believe that in order to keep up with the pace of technology, every savvy business owner must have a blog. Therefore, I think The Protocol School of Palm Beach should have a place for people to go and post their thoughts about etiquette and protocol (or lack thereof).

That's why I'm creating this blog. This will be a place where people can come and share ideas and pose questions to one another about how to handle life's sticky situations. In turn, I will share with you any interesting information about etiquette and protocol that I might come across in my daily life. I want to hear your thoughts and ideas as well. Until next time...here's to your success!