The Four P’s to Perfect Holiday Etiquette

By Guest Blogger: Grace Oforiokuma, Director, Style & Grace

When most of us think of the holidays, we generally think of festivities, indulgent eating, the giving of gifts, warm wishes and time spent with family and friends. Whatever the ‘holidays’ mean to you, for the majority of us they are a time to relax and have fun. However, in all the merriment it is easy to let our guard down and our manners along with it!

When it comes to good holiday manners I it's wise to observe the four P's:

• People
• Places
• Politeness
• Presents
  

Where people are concerned always remember cultural and religious differences. Not everyone celebrates Christmas and Thanksgiving. Appreciate and show consideration for other consecrated, religious and commemorative days, in addition to those you recognize. In accordance, it would be inappropriate to give a cooked ham as a gift on a Jewish or Moslem holiday!

The place or location of holiday festivities should be respected. If you are invited into someone’s home to share the celebrations try not to drop your food on the carpet, spill your drink or stub out cigarettes in the potted plants.

Politeness is critical to harmonious interactions during the holiday periods. Holiday gatherings in close quarters can sometimes lead to tension and arguments between family members. Keeping your cool will allow you to respond to even the most irritating relative (we all have one!) with respect, thereby diffusing a potential holiday blow up.

Politeness also bears relation to the manner in which you conduct yourself, for example eating most of the expensive Belgian chocolates all by yourself, or bringing up the contents of your stomach on the front lawn (due to excessive alcohol consumption) is not just impolite, it is plain rude!

Holidays often call for the giving of presents. Try to buy appropriate gifts for each person, especially where cultural or religious differences exist. Take your time to choose something that each person would actually use or like to have. Don’t buy gifts that are more suited to you than to the receiver. A thoughtful gift, even though inexpensive, will be more appreciated than the most expensive thoughtless gift.

A fifth ‘P’ must be added to include pleasure. While bearing in mind the points above, it is absolutely essential to have an enjoyable and pleasurable time during the holidays. Let your hair down, but not your manners!


Grace Oforiokuma is the director of Style & Grace, a leading etiquette and protocol services company based in West Africa, dedicated to the global empowerment of corporations and individuals through personal development. Grace has many years of international work experience, assimilating social and business etiquette and protocols in diverse countries including the USA, Chile, the UK and Nigeria.

Mind Your Mistletoe Manners

Mistletoe makes people pucker up, but there are times when it's best to mind your mistletoe manners. During the month of December, I am partnering with skin care company CLARISONIC (www.clarisonic.com) as their holiday etiquette expert. Together we have developed the Clarisonic Mistletoe Manifesto, which includes important lip-locking laws to follow if you find yourself beneath the mistletoe. Our promotional efforts include radio and television interviews including the one I did on FOX News on December 23. To view the video, click here.

Here are a simple set of tips to consider before getting near those innocent looking sprigs dangling in the foyer…

The office holiday party:

In general, kissing someone from work in public is ill-advised. Far too often, office holiday parties end in infamy for workers who let the egg nog take over. Try to keep your head on straight when you find yourself under the mistletoe with a co-worker.

If you are a woman caught under the mistletoe with your male coworker, take control and initiate the ever-so-safe "air kiss." While shaking this person's right hand, lean in close and gingerly touch his cheek with your Clarisonic smooth cheek while making a soft smacking sound. You've now fulfilled the mistletoe mandate without starting any office rumors.

Men: consider offering a female co-worker the "hand kiss", indicating respect. Don't linger under the mistletoe any longer than necessary in order to avoid any further awkwardness.

Sharing a moment with your lover, spouse or partner:

When you find yourself under the mistletoe with your significant other, the "full lip lock kiss" is perfectly acceptable. According to folklore, a couple's kiss under the mistletoe is interpreted as a promise to marry and a prediction of happiness and long life.

Encountering a relative under the mistletoe:

Bumping into a relative under the mistletoe can cause holiday etiquette confusion! Granted, you don't want to kiss your creepy cousin on the lips, so your best bet is to give a gentle "cheek kiss," symbolizing goodwill without being too mushy.

Personal space tip: Keep your hands on your relative's shoulders - thus creating a comfortable distance. If you find yourself under the mistletoe with a small child, opt for the motherly "forehead kiss."

Just friends:

The standard "cheek kiss" is most appropriate when standing under the mistletoe with a friend. However, if you're feeling extra festive, consider the "corner to corner kiss" allowing the corner of your lips to just barely touch the corner of your friend's lips. You may also choose to incorporate a light hug into the equation. But kissers beware, go too far and you'll send mixed messages.

When you find yourself faced with a person who clearly wants to be more than just friends, be prepared to deflect the attempted 'full lip lock kiss.' Politely turn your face and offer the other cheek. Then offer to get your friend some hors d'oeuvres.

Meeting the neighbors:

Neighborhood parties often bring people together the most unlikely people. If you find that you and your neighbor are standing under the mistletoe, make the best of the situation. You can never go wrong with the old-fashioned handshake.

Handshaking tip: Always carry your drink in your left hand so your right hand is free for handshaking.

Meeting a stranger:

You could encounter that most awkward of mistletoe situations at a crowded party: the stranger. If you're uncomfortable kissing a stranger, employ the obvious strategy by pretending you don't notice the mistletoe and move away - after all, ignorance is bliss.

Alternatively, don your best blushing face, point out that you're both standing under the mistletoe and say something flattering, like "Well, I just can't resist." In this situation, the "air kiss" is a perfect choice.

In most situations, remember this no-fail strategy:

Give the impression that you are cultured and refined and go for the European "two-cheek air kiss" -- it's a winner under the mistletoe, or anytime!

View the full manifesto at www.clarisonic.com. Additionally see very telling body language photos that tell an awful lot as to what is happening under the mistletoe.